Struggling
by JessicaHayden
Summary: Santana's lying to everyone, she's not ok. She's struggling to cope with Brittany's overwhelming love. Rate   Review. Believe me there's a twist in the tail to this story. M for adult scenes and adult topics. Brittana
1. Chapter 1

Brittany's hands were warm to the touch. She caressed my face as we sat staring at each other on an autumn afternoon. Her eyes were really endearing, focused one minute and looking right through you the next. I often wondered what she thought about as her eyes misted over. I held up my hand and put in over hers intertwining out fingers. She smiled coyly. I could always understand her, even if she was off on one of her tangents about random thoughts she had merged together as one. Sometimes though, she couldn't understand me. Not the words I used, or how I phrased things; just me. She didn't know what went on in my mind; how it worked. I'll admit I had no idea what was going on in hers, but considering she was the girl who once told me the square root of four was rainbows. One day I'm sure she'll turn around and shout 'April Fools' and uncover the fact that she is actually completely normal, although I won't hold my breath.

We were so close and yet sometimes we were so far apart. I do so much for her and I don't think she realises any of it. Maybe her ways of repaying me for all of my hard work were her touches. They were gentle and precise; full of care. She knew exactly how to make shivers run through me. She would also let me hold her hand and nestle onto her shoulder as we sat in Glee club. When I hold her hand it makes me feel safe, and I know what people say, it's because I'm 'possessive' but it's not, it's because I love the feeling.

I met her when we were eight in cheer camp. She was pretty even then, although I didn't appreciate it like I do now. I remember she introduced herself really politely and I completely shot her down. Then she started to dance, randomly playing out a routine she had learned in the year previous. Her body flowed around her very own spot on the grass field. It felt as if in those moments everything else in the world had shut down to watch her dance. Her body flowed with utter finesse and she leaped from one foot and landed on the other with grace and poise. I didn't think could ever be truly awestruck, but in that moment, I was. When she had finished, I stood speechless. I then walked over to her and complemented her on her dancing skill. She beamed and kicked her foot through the grass.

From then on we were inseparable. Our bond grew as we did. The older we got the stronger it got. Brittany had always depended on me and I liked it, from homework to money, she needed me in all sorts of situations. I don't depend on anyone; that was the way I was brought up. 'Don't depend on anyone and you'll never get hurt.' My mother would always say, although that was just her way of justifying her lacking parenting skills. My family had never really cared much about me, but I didn't mind because I found Brittany. Her family were so welcoming and they knew the situation with my own family and said when I was ten that I could stay over at anytime I wanted, but I didn't want to impose. I did stay over more than the average friend would but at least my family didn't question why it was so. They simply said it was easier with me out of the house. I loved being at Brittany's house though, I felt wanted. Her mom was always so supportive of everything we did.

Brittany reached for my thigh. Her hand snaked across my naked flesh. Damn why did my Cheerio's skirt have to be so short. She rubbed my thigh up and down repeatedly, she then let her finger trace aimless shapes on the same spot. Her face was completely distant as I studied it.

"What are you looking at San?" She said without looking up.

"You're really pretty Britt..."

"What, you're only noticing now?" She smirked.

"Haah, no! I mean it's just, you know." What the fuck. I sounded like I was in kindergarten. I stammered though that sentence and blushed.

She leaned closer to my face and her hand got higher and higher on my thigh. Her lips met mine. I was shocked and I darted back. As soon as I did I felt like a complete bitch.

"Sorry, I just..." I trailed off because I had no clue as to what to say.

She leaned in again and repeated the kiss. This time I returned the gesture; she smiled into the kiss and pulled away after a long moment. She grinned and I tucked a piece of hair behind her right ear.

"So, what the hell?" I asked causally to break the silence.

"I kissed you."

"Really?" I asked sarcastically.

"Yep." She replied matter-of-factly.

We sat there in a comfortable silence just looking at one another. I wanted to kiss her again... and again. I felt all desperate and needy, I felt dirty. I hated wanting other people, they were meant to want me. Santana Lopez, the hot, head cheerleader with I libido to challenge Puck's. Who wouldn't tap this? Even Rachel 'Jew' Berry would have to want a little bit of this on the side. I wanted Brittany though, she was amazing, generally. Everyday I'd find something new that amazed me more than the day before. Oh god I sound like such a sap. I needed to pull it together. If something were to happen with me and Brittany I wonder who the guy would be. I think I'd let her pick what she wanted. Fuck, stop thinking Lopez!

"I wanna go home now, is that ok?" Brittany asked.

"Yea go ahead, you know which way you're going, don't you?" I queried.

"Uhh huhh that way." she said as she pointed left.

I took her arm and pointed it right.

"You meant that way, didn't you?" I laughed.

"Yup."

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Oh crap that sounded far to pervy for my liking.

"You sound like you're my boyfriend or something..." she snickered and stopped suddenly. "Are you my boyfriend?"

"Go home Brittany." I said bluntly.

As she got up to leave the park she bent over and kissed my lips lightly. She grinned childishly and skipped away. I watched her go until all I saw was a blur. I sat back against the tree we were near. My head was pulsing, thoughts flashing through it. What to do, what to do?


	2. Chapter 2

**_So we're moving on in the relationship :) Yay! So if you want to find out the twist the tail im gonna need reviews... please :) as always i dont own anything i just wish i did. tell me what youd like to see happen and maybe i can incorporate it :D_**

* * *

It wasn't an intense relationship until the night of my birthday. I went to Puck's because he said he wanted to give me a present. I walked in the door to silence and then and a sudden eardrum shattering 'SURPRIZE!' rang out through though the room. People leapt out from all sorts of hiding places, faces smiling. I blushed slightly and thanked everyone. I saw Brittany and hugged her tightly. Then I moved to Puck and punched him playfully on the arm. 'Thanks' I mouthed to him over the music. The base beats pumped in an echo shaking the floorboards, feet jumping in dance and alcohol was flowing free. It's like there was I spotlight on Brittany for the whole night, her presence was enchanting. She twirled to the beat of her own drum.

"Hey." She said as she made her way over to me.

"Hey B, so I heard you helped with all of this."

She nodded with pride and wrapped her arms around my neck and began to dance again. I put my hands over hers on my neck and we danced so close we rubbed off each other. Her body was hot with the passion of dance. The night was monumental. It slowed up at about three in the morning and people began to vacate. They hugged me drunkenly and wished me happy birthday. Britt offered to take me back to her house seeing as it was so late. She said she had a present to give me anyway.

"Brittany, you really didn't need to get me anything, you know that!"

She just simply tapped her nose slyly and grabbed hold of my hand. Puck was nowhere to be seen so I let Brittany yank me right out the front door and down the street to her house. She fumbled with the keys in the door and I steadied her hand with my own. She smiled and finally unlocked it. We got inside and headed up to her room quietly. Brittany got changed and threw me some clothes to change into. I took off my top and I had my back facing Brittany as I felt arms snake around my waist.

"Britt?"

"This is my present." She whispered seductively into my ear.

Her soft hands began to wander downwards.

"B?" Concern threaded through the single utterance.

"Shhhsh." She hushed me into silence. "Just go with it."

I let her take control, I wasn't used to it but she insisted. I watched as her hand slipped below the waistband of my skirt. My breathing sharpened as found her way in. She plunged two fingers inside me without any warning. I moaned loudly and Brittany put her free hand over my mouth. She rubbed her thumb over my clit and some how it felt so right. She pulled her fingers in and out and quickened her pace when she felt I was near the edge. She made a few deep thrusts and the pace fastened indefinitely. I could feel that Brittany had no top on, just a bra, our skin flush against each others. We were grinding and touching each other in a way that I had never experienced before. She was so gentle and yet so vigorous at the same time. I was confused, horny and nervous all at once. Brittany continued her Trojan work as I fell over the edge, it was extraordinary. I shuddered and my knees buckled. She helped me ride out the end of my incredible orgasm while also trying to keep me upright.

She took her hand back and walked over to her bed, I turned around wearing a very surprised expression. She patted the space beside her. I lay next to her and curled into her arm which was wrapping itself around me. This could not be happening, Brittany just... fucked me. This is absolute craziness, I shouldn't have let it happen, but it felt perfect. Brittany snuggled closer and my heart slowly melted and so did my thoughts. We slept as we were until the next morning.

Brittany didn't say anything about the night before although I knew she wouldn't because she wouldn't have thought anything of it. Then she down beside me at her kitchen table while her parents were still in bed.

"So what did you think of last night?" She said nervously.

"Well I'm not really sure what happened..."

"Yea neither was I but I just wanted to give you something special." She smiled as she wringed her hands.

"It was special B, it was." I held onto her hand. What else am I supposed say?

I had weird feelings about the night previous. On one hand it was the most amazing feeling I had ever felt and then on the other, if we did what I think we did wouldn't that mean we were... gay. Oh shit, I never thought about that. It can't be that, it just can't, I can't. I'm the second in command on the Cheerio's, I have the hottest guy in school wrapped around my little finger and I'm going places. Brittany won't take all of what I've worked for away from me; although I might let her if she'll treat me like that again. I loved being in control but Brittany taking over was a pleasant change.

She snapped her fingers in front of my face.

"Saantaannaa." She called.

"What?" I laughed.

"Oh sorry... what are you thinking about?" she said blankly.

"Nothing B, just tired." I breathed out a yawn.

"_Oh that's alright because I love the way you lie_..." She sang.

"I'm not lying; just leave it B, its cool." I said forcefully.

She sensed something was up, she always could. I just felt like I was drowning in a sea of thoughts. I always felt that these thoughts would never concern me, and now here I was sitting at Brittany's dining table considering whether or not I should return her love. This was hard, and then another a thought popped up. School. What about school? What will people say? If I were to do this with Brittany I would have literally no respect left to stay on the Cheerio's. Slushie facials everyday and having to protect Brittany even more for the hate we'll get.

I looked up to Brittany her eyes glazed and mouth smiling. I wish just for a day I didn't have to think.


	3. Chapter 3

**_and so continues the story... please review :) can anything bring Santana off this high of Brittany saying yes? Hmm we'll see :D_**

Things just kept developing physically, but not moving anywhere. I was leaving Brittany's house early one morning. I walked back towards my house, my hands deep in my pockets and my brain deep in thought. I needed to talk to someone I trusted. It was hard for me to trust people after the issues I had with my parents; swearing blind they'd be there and boom, leaving me stranded. There were only two people I trusted, Brittany, obviously and Quinn. I also met her at cheer camp when we were eight; she was a leader even then. We got along great and had similar ideas to how we wanted things done. After the baby drama we were still close, I was there for her, but don't tell anyone. I helped her as much as I could and I felt bad that the best I could offer her was a crappy couch, and don't get me wrong I love Q but I'm not getting back problems from that couch because I gave her my bed.

I dialled Quinn's number into my cell phone and it rang twice.

"Hello?"

"Hey Q, meet me in Breadsticks tonight, at eight."

"Oh a date, what will I wear?" She retorted.

"Quinn, seriously." I growled.

"Crap, that means we have to talk... I gotta go but I'll be there S, don't worry." She said goodbye and hung up.

I put my phone back in my pocket and breathed a sigh of relief. Q always knew how to sort out any problem I had; especially problems that involved Brittany, even though they were few and far between. They always involved me getting too angry, I was magically the one always in the wrong; but I don't think that Brittany can physically do wrong against anyone anyway.

* * *

I headed to Breadsticks and saw Quinn in a booth already waiting. I walked over and slid into the booth, I hugged her and smiled. She picked up a menu and began searching.

"How you been S?" She said without looking away from the menu.

"I don't really know recently, up and down, you?"

"Good actually, Ms Corcoran let me see Beth last weekend and she's grown so much." She smiled to herself at the thought. "So what's happened San?"

As I was about to answer the waiter decided to pop up out of nowhere and ask for our orders.

"Water and Caesar Salad by two, thanks." Quinn said confidently.

The waiter grabbed the menus then turned on his heels and headed back towards the kitchen.

"Alright, what's up?"

"It's kinda serious Q" I said in a worried voice.

"Now I'm concerned Santana, go on..." She trailed off and took one of my hands and gripped it gently.

I loved how after Quinn had her baby she got all motherly like this. Having Beth made her so mature and that's why I know I can tell her pretty much anything and she won't judge or hate me. She wasn't a stupid teenager like the rest of us; she had a good head on shoulders.

"It's about me and Britt." I started off.

"Did you shout at her again, or something?" she chuckled.

"No... It's nothing like that."

"Then what the hell is it?" She said confusedly.

"Well... I like, love her Q." I said silently.

"Of course you do she's your best friend!"

"No, not like that, like the other way." I mumbled awkwardly.

"Oh sorry I get you, so? What's the issue then?"

"Maybe the fact that the whole town isn't as accepting as you Quinn. You see how they treat Hummel."

"Hmmm, yea I know, but if you love her you should at least try, no?" She suggested.

I nodded in agreement and noticed the waiter return with our meals. He dropped a plate in front of Quinn and then one in front of me.

"You should just ask her today, get it over with, I know she'll say yes anyway." She said nonchalantly.

"Hopefully... but Q how come your so calm about all of this?"

"It's not like I didn't see this coming if I'm honest San, you and Brittany were always meant to be. You two were always so close, even since cheer camp and sometimes too close." She giggled.

"Oh that's not embarrassing..." I could feel my face turn slightly pink.

She put her fork down and looked into my eyes. "You just gotta go with it Santana if it's going to work, ok?" I could tell she was serious.

I nodded and tried to make a start on my food, but hunger wasn't really one of my priorities right now. Quinn was right, I was being a coward. I needed to talk to Britt. I just wanted to go straight to her but I couldn't just leave. I pushed my food around my plate and gazed at it. Quinn wasn't inquiring as to why I wasn't eating and I was glad, I didn't want my thoughts to be interrupted. What exactly could say to Brittany? How could I word it? I didn't want her to get confused and get the wrong end of the stick.

Quinn finished her salad and looked over to my plate.

"Someone was hungry tonight." She exclaimed sarcastically.

"Shut up Quinn, I was thinking."

"I know darling, I know. So are you going to speak with Brittany tonight?" she said motherly.

"Yea, I'll call her and tell her to come over."

"Alright, I know this is important, so go and I'll grab the bill." I loved when Quinn was all caring.

I wrapped Quinn in a hug and slid out of the booth I told her I'd let her know how it goes and she wished me luck.

I got outside and the air was crisp. I took out my cell phone and pressed one on the speed dial. It rung a couple of times and she picked up.

"No mom I want duck pyjamas... Hello?"

"Hey B."

"San!" She exclaimed

"Listen, I want you to come over tonight, is that cool?"

"Yup I'll be there in about five or six." She said unsurely.

"Well let yourself in, because I'm not there, I should be back in about twenty minutes."

"Ok see you then." She said as she hung up.

I got back in my car and put the keys in the ignition.

* * *

I pulled up outside my house and noticed my bedroom light on. The butterflies began to beat the inside of my stomach. I got out of the car and headed up to the front door. I made my way in and hung up my coat.

"B?" I yelled. I heard movements from above me and seconds later Brittany was bounding down the stairs.

She ran to me and enveloped me in a hug. She felt so warm and smelled of fresh flowers. Her hair swished softly onto my face and I caught the scent of vanilla. My arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer. I eased myself away just enough to cup her face in my hands. I brought our lips closer together until they met in a sweet kiss. I lightly sucked on her bottom lip and it was enough to elicit a slight moan from her.

We pulled away to breathe after the beautiful moment. I took her hand and brought her into the living room. I sat her down on the couch and she brought her legs up to sit crossed legged facing me. She stared off into the distance grinning.

"I want to ask you something Brittany..." I trailed off awaiting her attention.

She snapped back to reality and nodded.

I continued on. "Umm Britt, you know how we're really close and all. How we love each other?"

She nodded again paying full attention. This was good because I always liked getting straight to the point.

"Well I was wondering... do you wanna like... go out with me?"

She beamed. "YES!" She exclaimed. I was completely taken by surprise and she took that opportunity to jump me.

She was too fast for me; she pinned me on my back and raised my arms above my head. She lowered her lips down to mine and teased me for a moment I groaned and broke out of her grip, I took hold of the back of her head and pulled her closer and we kissed with desperation; each kiss wanting more. She grinded me and grabbed my breast through my shirt. I moaned loudly as she palmed me.

We brought it upstairs only to get more heated.

And apparently (after a not so very in depth conversation) I'm the boyfriend. Great.


	4. Chapter 4

Brittany took full advantage of me feeling pretty loving that night. As we snuggled I suggested that we should discuss what we wanted from each other in our relationship. I got out two pieces of paper and two pens. I sat on the floor and deliberated my points. I know I kind of sounded like Rachel but Britt was special... I wanted to give her everything she wanted. She sat on my bed, her face cutely scrunched up in thought.

"Ok, times up." I declared.

"Ahh! Wait... one second... ok." She exclaimed as she scribbled some final requests.

I made it into a joke by only writing one thing on my sheet and I knew it would get me extra brownie points. See I wasn't turning into Rachel Berry. I was still the HBIC Santana Lopez.

"Alright, switch." I got up, took her page and glanced over it.

I read through her list. She wrote:

Kissing.

Hugging.

Holding hands.

Presents.

Dates.

Notes.

Duets.

Helping with homework.

Snuggling.

More memories.

She was adorable, in every sense of the word. She smiled to herself and played with her fingers as I read. I looked up to her and nodded. She beamed at my silent answer.

"There really good B, your wish is my command." I smirked.

I handed my sheet to Brittany and she studied it for a couple of minutes.

"Is that all you want?" She questioned unconvinced.

"Uh huh." I confirmed.

"You had me at hello Santana Lopez." She said blankly.

"I know, but you're the only thing I want; you, forever and always." I said as I pointed to the sheet upon which I had drawn a stupid heart around the word you. Sappy I know... but definite brownie points scored as Brittany traced the heart with her finger. I got up and pinned her list to my notice board.

"Why'd you put it up there? I thought that was for all you important work-y stuff."

"It's for important stuff Britt and your list is important." I said adamantly. "Oh and if you want to add to it you can."

She nodded and walked over to me. She placed her hands on my waist and her head on my shoulder.

"I wanna do number 5!" She exclaimed.

"What like right now?" I asked as I turned and kissed her on the cheek.

"Yea! Breadsticks." She suggested.

"Alrighty, me and my girl is going to Breadsticks."

We set off in her car and headed a couple of blocks towards our favourite restaurant. We pulled up in the car park and Brittany stopped the car. I told her to wait where she was and she obeyed. I got out of my seat and opened the door allowed the cold evening air into the car. I ran around to the driver's seat and opened Brittany's door for her. She blushed slightly and I took her hand.

I talked to the waiter and asked for a booth. He led us to our seats and I waited until Brittany had slid in to seat myself opposite her. I looked at her differently for a moment. I looked at how her blonde hair fell neatly around her shoulders and how her skin was ridiculously flawless. I noticed that her eyes were the most magnificent shade of blue I had ever seen and how her eyelashes batted when she blinked. I focused on how when she sat in silence she would play with her hands and stare into space in a world of her own. She was amazing and she was all mine. I snapped out of my mini daze and watched Brittany consciously for a few moments. She sat completely still, her gaze unmoving.

"Brittany." I finally piped up.

"...Yes?" She answered while making her way back to reality.

"Are we gonna talk on this date or are we gonna sit here like were on mute or something?"

"Well I usually just sit there thinking about you and then leave..." she shrugged.

"Well I'm here now so it's different from all those jocks ok?" I quipped.

"I know it's just really cool... you being my girlfriend." She grinned.

I chuckled slightly and loved the fact that she liked all this. Thank god! The waiter then came over. Brittany motioned him closer and she whispered some elaborate plan into his ear. He gave a slight look of distaste and turned back towards the kitchen.

"I ordered for us." She said proudly.

"Ok, so what did you order? And I swear if you tried to order green eggs and ham again..."

"No I swear that was only one time and you'll see when it gets here."

"Brittany you do that in every new restaurant we go to..."

"I've just always wanted to try it." She said with a frown. When will she learn?

The waiter returned with one plate and one drink. "Ordered for us, huh?"

"Yup" She smiled.

He set down the plate between us and looked to Brittany and then glanced to me and rolled his eyes. He the scuttled back off to whatever hole he crawled out of. Brittany placed two straw's in the milkshake; my favourite. She then began to twirl the spaghetti she had ordered around her fork.

"That stingy fucker. He only gave us one meatball." I stated angrily. "You can have it if you want babe." I suggested.

I grabbed my fork and pushed the meatball over to her side of the plate. She shook her head in disagreement and brought her head down towards the plate. She lightly pushed the meatball back over to my side with her nose. She was so fricking charming sometimes.

"Lady and the Tramp?" She turned slightly pink and nodded. I couldn't reach her to wipe the sauce from her nose so I got up and slid in beside her. I cupped her face and used my thumb to clean the tip of her cute little nose. I then proceeded to kiss her. I cornered her in the booth by placing my hands on the table and the back of the seat. I kissed her and tugged at her lip. Our tongues danced together fighting for dominance. I won every time of course. Suddenly our passion was rudely interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. I pulled away from Brittany and turned to the intruder. It was the waiter from early.

"Yes?"I said sharply.

"I would like to bring it to your attention that you are making the other customers uncomfortable." He said pompously.

"How?" I kept my questions short and my tone full of spite.

"Your displays of... affection are less then subtle." He muttered and acted as if he had a bad taste in his mouth as he said it.

"Your rudeness is less then subtle and I'll have you know we're probably your best customers."

"We have gotten several complaints about you two and we do not appreciate it." He said with hatred threading his words.

"Who complained?" I narrowed my glare on the stupid waiter. He looked around and pointed towards two couples.

I got up and looked back to Brittany. "Gimme a couple of minutes baby ok?"

She nodded. "Please don't hurt anyone..." She trailed off ominously. I agreed thoughtfully.

"I second that." The waiter added as he raised his hand.

"I literally don't care what you think." I scowled.

I walked towards the first couple that he pointed out. I could deal with some old couples not understanding what we had. It's not like they could ever have a person like Brittany in their dim little lives. The fright that was plastered on their face as they saw me coming was hilarious. I thought of how I could approach this. The couple were in their forties and the husband was having the soup so I could totally slam that in his face. Then Brittany's words echoed in my head. 'Please don't hurt anyone...' I was Santana Lopez I could manage to deal with this with words. The table was actually for four so I sat down in one of the vacant seats. I looked to the wife and then to the husband.

"So you two complained huh?" The couple nodded in response.

"May I ask why?" I said politely. I loved this false sense of security shit.

"Well because we don't want two teenagers making out beside us while we're trying to have a nice meal." The woman said sternly.

"Look, I understand that but I'm trying to have first date with the most beautiful girl I have ever met. Please just do me a favour and lay off. Just for tonight I'm begging you. That waiters an ass and hates us. I just want to tonight to be nice, you know? I just wanna impress the girl of my dreams here. And no more heavy making out, I promise, deal?"

"You remember our first date don't you dear?" The woman said to her bored husband.

He nodded and smiled as nostalgia flooded over him. "Deal." The woman responded. "Have a nice night."

I got up from the seat and grinned to myself, one down one to go. I felt the eagle eyes of the waiter peering at my every move. I was so glad that the other couple understood where I was coming from. Sometimes it's so much easier to explain with words and not fists, although fists were much more fun. I made my way to the other couple and they took it just as well as the first. That waiter totally overreacted. I hope this wont mar mine and Brittany's first date. I went back to our booth and sat down across from Brittany once more.

"You can leave us alone now." I said smugly. I cocked my head to the side and arched my eyebrow.

The waiter stood there for a moment in defeat. "Have a good evening." He said through gritted teeth. He then turned and walked away without hesitation.

I bent down towards the milkshake to take a sip and Brittany mimicked me. She smiled while her lips were around her straw. I stared deep into her eyes and smiled back. Cheesy or what? But if this is what Brittany wanted, so be it.

"Thank you." she whispered after quenching her thirst.

"For what?"

"For standing up for us... I love you San." She held out her hand.

I took her hand in my own. "I love you too Britt."

The rest of the night went off without a hitch. I paid for the meal after insisting that it wasn't Brittany's job. I linked her arm and we headed back to her car. When we got home I had my dirty little way with her and we snuggled into a comfortable slumber.

School tomorrow... at least we had each other, right?


	5. Chapter 5

**_School awaits for Santana and Brittany... dun_**

**_ dun_**

**_ dun :)_**

So we get up the next morning and I'm feeling pretty amazing after last night. I rolled over to find Brittany standing already dressed with my Cheerio's outfit in her hand waiting for me.

Ok so that's I lie, but that would be pretty cool.

I rolled over to look at her sleeping. She was so peaceful and emitted small gasps in her wondrous snooze. I had to make a call before I forgot to pass on my news. I grabbed my phone from my bedside table and punched in the number. It rang twice.

"Santana... it's like eight in the morning, this better be important." Quinn said sharply.

"Oh It is." I said smugly.

"No way... No fricking way!" She screeched.

"Woah Q seriously, can you not fuck my eardrums, thanks."

"Awh S, I'm so happy for you two! I totally made this happen... you owe me."

"Quinn Fabray I owe you nothing... ugh look I'll see you later."

"Yea, in school, are you two going to be ok?" she said with concern.

"I got it Q, but thanks. Alright I gotta get my sweetheart up; Later Quinn."

"You are too cute Ms Lopez, I'm telling B you said that." I growled down the phone as she laughed and then I hung up.

I propped myself up on my elbow and smiled at the sight of this angel in my bed. I gently caressed her cheek and she stirred slightly. Enough, I had to get her up because we're going to be late.

"Britt... B... Brittany..." I whispered as I prodded her side.

She mumbled incoherently and sat up. "This is fun." She said beaming.

"What, we have school today."

"No... Waking up beside you." she smiled coyly.

I grinned and moved myself closer to her. I put my arms around her and kissed her deeply. She wrapped her around my neck and I instantly didn't care about school or anything else for that matter. They could do what they wanted to me, slushie facials, throw my in a locker or call me names. I could deal with it, all for Brittany. I settled back on to my pillow and put my arm around her.

"Are you ready for today?"

"Um sure, it's just school right?" She said uncertainly.

"Yea just school." I said pensively.

I pulled her tighter for a moment. I then got up and threw her her Cheerio's uniform. I put mine on and we linked arms as we made our way to the kitchen. I poured out some cereal and we ate up. I fixed up two thermoses of Sue Sylvester's Master Cleanse©. I handed her one and she had disgust written all over her face.

"I put extra lemon in yours, just the way you like it." This earned me a quick peck on the lips. Santana's got game.

Once we finished breakfast we headed out to the car and Brittany drove us to school.

We walked in the front door of McKinley High hand in hand. A couple people looked and some whispered. It was nothing new really; we were hot, so it was a daily occurrence, end of story. I wanted to cement our relationship and let people know she was mine so I pushed her up against her locker when we walked to it and I kissed her avidly. I could hear a few 'oh my gods' in the background, success. I got her books ready and gave them to her. I took my own books out of my locker and we strolled to class. I gave her a final peck as she headed into her own class and I headed towards mine. I sat down the back of my English so I could think. Everything was going well so far, even though we were only one class in.

The bell rang and I got up, next Calculus. Brittany and I had lots of classes together but unfortunately math and numbers weren't her thing. I however loved it. The answers were always specific not like art which was just an interpretation. Although I'd never say that to Brittany seen as it seemed like it was the one thing she got. That said it was only the practical side not the history. She was the most amazing artist I had ever seen. She always drew and painted stuff and left them in my locker to see what I thought of them. It was seriously cute.

After I snapped out of my Brittany daze I realised it was lunch time. I got out of the classroom and into the hall. I could hear someone screaming in the distance. Something didn't feel right. They were calling my name... it was Brittany. I ran closer and closer to the fracas. I saw Brittany writhing up against her locker and Karofsky standing over her.

"Santana's not gonna help you is she dopey?" He spat.

Brittany whimpered and I could feel my blood begin to boil. I was going to kill him. I walked over and stood behind the giant.

"You little queer. Santana ain't gonna save you, that's for sure." He chuckled. Oh he's fucking dead.

"Umm Karosky? Turn around dude." One of the other jocks suggested when he saw me fuming.

Karosky turned around and his face automatically changed when he saw me standing there with my arms folded. I arched my eyebrow and swiftly kicked him between his legs. He dropped to his knees and I took this opportunity to relay a point.

"Look this is for all you jerks, don't even think for a second that you can mess with Brittany. She's mine and anyone who dares to hurt her will have to fuck with me and I think Karosky can answer for you guys that messing with her was a huge mistake." I glared at all of the group of jocks singularly. "And you..." I looked down to the in pain Karosky. "I'm pretty sure Britt takes far more classes then you do... and actually manages to pass them and hasn't been held back for the past two years." I remarked as the block of a boy turned red.

Karosky raises himself on one knee. Oh hell to the no, he's not getting away that easy. I took the biggest swing I could muster at his face. I caught him right in the nose and blood begin to trickle from it. He freezes for a moment and then gets to his feet.

"This is just beginning Lopez."

"Maybe so, but I think you'll find I'm already winning jackass." I narrowed my glare on the football player. "Oh and by the time 'this' is over I'll make damn sure that you won't be able to have kids, I shit you not Karostupid."

I took Brittany's hand and led her to the bathroom. She had tears slowly making their way down her cheeks.

"B I'm so sorry I swear I won't let them scare you again, are you ok?"

"I guess, I was just standing there and he started shouting and I didn't know what else to do." She said weakly.

"Well if anything like that happens again, all you need to do is call my name and I'll be there ok? I promise." I swore as I pulled her into a comforting hug. She sighed and her tears subsided.

It was so difficult to see Brittany cry. To be honest though I was nervous to think what tomorrow would bring. Why did I do this to Brittany, I could have just left it and everything would have been fine.

Day one down, forever to go.

_**Please Review... Continue?**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Day two in McKinley High. Singing Yay!**_

So we had our first day down together. It wasn't as bad as I had expected although I had a feeling that things were hardly going to get better fast. I walked into Glee hand in hand with Brittany. We walked up to Mr Schuester and asked if we could make an announcement. We waited until everyone had taken their seats and Mr Schue handed us the floor.

"Ok so Brittany and I just wanted to let you guys know that we're officially going out. And before you say it Kurt we're not making some sort of freaky alliance."

"Darn." The baby faced boy commented sarcastically.

"Well I'm happy for ya'll." Mercedes mentioned.

"All I can say is finally." Quinn smirked. To this statement everyone nodded in unison.

"Wait what? You all agree with that?" I said sharply.

"Oh come on Lopez, even I could it coming." Puck retorted.

"Ooh I can tell my dads." Rachel piped up, which earned her an eye roll from me.

"Well whatever, c'mon Britt." I retook her hand and brought to a seat up the back.

Everyone in Glee knew thank god that went alright. Now we just need to tell Brittany's parents and we were home free. Mr Schuester stood up and hushed the class into silence. He then grabbed a whiteboard marker and started writing on the whiteboard.

"Are you for serious? I'm gonna kill this." Mercedes squealed.

"This week Glee club is doing Beyonce." Mr Schue announced to groans from the male section of the club including Kurt.

"Oh my, I'm not sure if any of her songs are within my range." Rachel said dramatically.

"Did I mention there's a prize?" Mr Schue said mysteriously. "For the person who sings their song of choice best will get a lead in a song at regionals."

"Mr Schue, I've already got a song." Mercedes declared.

She got up and whispered something to Brad the pianist and stood confidently in middle of the floor.

"I just want ya'll to know this has no connotations behind, I just know I can sing it." And so she began.

_If I were a boy even just for a day__  
__I'd roll out of bed in the morning__  
__And throw on what I wanted__  
__And go drink beer with the guys__  
__And chase after girls__  
__I'd kick it with who I wanted__  
__And I'd never get confronted for it__  
__'Cause they stick up for me_

_If I were a boy__  
__I think I could understand__  
__How it feels to love a girl__  
__I swear I'd be a better man_

_I'd listen to her__  
__'Cause I know how it hurts__  
__When you lose the one you wanted__  
__'Cause he's taking you for granted__  
__And everything you had got destroyed_

_If I were a boy__  
__I would turn off my phone__  
__Tell everyone it's broken__  
__So they'd think that I was sleeping alone_

_I'd put myself first__  
__And make the rules as I go__  
__'Cause I know that she'd be faithful__  
__Waiting for me to come home, to come home_

_If I were a boy__  
__I think I could understand__  
__How it feels to love a girl__  
__I swear I'd be a better man_

_I'd listen to her__  
__'Cause I know how it hurts__  
__When you lose the one you wanted__  
__'Cause he's taking you for granted__  
__And everything you had got destroyed__  
__It's a little too late for you to come back__  
__Say it's just a mistake__  
__Think I'd forgive you like that__  
__If you thought I would wait for you__  
__You thought wrong_

_But you're just a boy__  
__You don't understand__  
__And you don't understand, oh__  
__How it feels to love a girl__  
__Someday you wish you were a better man_

_You don't listen to her__  
__You don't care how it hurts__  
__Until you lose the one you wanted__  
__'Cause you're taking her for granted__  
__And everything you had got destroyed__  
__But you're just a boy__  
_

She finished to hoots, whistles and applause. "Wow Mercedes, you've really set the bar high." Mr Schue said in awe of the soul singer. "Does anybody else have a song?"

"You know I do." I proclaimed.

Brittany looked towards me curiously and I just winked. I stood up and strutted over to Brad. He nodded at my song choice and I totally brought my A game.

_Na, na, na, diva is a female version of a hustla__  
__Of a hustla, of a, of a hustla__  
__Na, na, na, diva is a female version of a hustla__  
__Of a hustla, of a, of a hustla_

_Stop the track, let me state facts__  
__I told you give me a minute and I'll be right back__  
__Fifty million round the world__  
__And they said that I couldn't get it_

_I done got so sick and filthy with Benji's, I can't spend__  
__How you gone be talkin' shh?__  
__You act like I just got up in it__  
__Been the number one diva in this game for a minute_

_I know you read the paper__  
__The one that they call a queen__  
__Every radio round the world know me__  
__'Cause that's where I be_

_I'm a, a diva, hey__  
__I'm a, I'm a, a diva, hey__  
__I'm a, I'm a, a diva, hey__  
__I'm a, I'm a, a diva_

_I'm a, I'm a, a diva, hey__  
__I'm a, I'm a, a diva__  
__I'm a, I'm a, a diva, hey__  
__I'm a, I'm a_

_Na, na, na, diva is a female version of a hustla__  
__Of a hustla, of a, of a hustla__  
__Na, na, na, diva is a female version of a hustla__  
__Of a hustla, of a, of a hustla_

I walked over to Puck with my full swagger on and kept the beat.

_When he pull up, wanna pop my hood up__  
__Bet he better have a six pack in the cooler__  
__Getting money, divas getting money__  
__If you ain't getting money then you ain't got nothing for me_

I moved from Puck to Brittany and sat in the chair beside her slouched over and bit my lip sexily as I sang to her.

_Tell me somethin' where your boss at?__  
__Where my ladies up in there that like to talk back__  
__I wanna see ya, I'd like to meet cha__  
__What you said, she ain't no diva_

I then moved back to take centre stage in front of the piano.

_Na, na, na, diva is a female version of a _hustla_  
__Of a hustla, of a, of a hustla__  
__Na, na, na, diva is a female version of a hustla__  
__Of a hustla, of a, of a hustla_

_Since fifteen in my stilettos been struttin' in this game__  
__What's your age? Was the question they asked when I hit the stage__  
__I'm a diva, best believe her, you see her, she getting paid__  
__She ain't callin' him to greet her, don't need him, her bed's made_

_This is a stick up, stick up__  
__I need them bags, uh, that money__  
__A stick up, stick up__  
__You see them ask, where that money?_

I raised my hands, ushering the females in the room up to sing. 

_All my ladies get it up__  
__I see you, I do the same__  
__Take it to another level__  
__No passengers on my plane_

All the girls started to sing and dance beside me and I was totally entranced by Brittany.

_This is a stick, up stick up__  
__I need them bags, uh, that money__  
__Stick up, stick up__  
__You see them ask where that money_

_Na, na, na, diva is a female version of a hustla__  
__Of a hustla, of a, of a hustla__  
__Na, na, na, diva is a female version of a hustla__  
__Of a hustla, of a, of a hustla_

_I'm a, a diva, I'm a, I'm a, a diva__  
__I'm a, I'm a, a diva, I'm a, I'm a, a diva__  
__I'm a, I'm a, a diva, I'm a, I'm a, a diva__  
__I'm a, I'm a, a diva, I'm a, I'm a, a diva_

"Boom!" I sounded off after the applause died down.

"That was an interesting choice of song Santana." He clapped.

"Thanks." I smirked.

We all settled back down and Mr Schue opened the floor to anyone else who had a song.

"I'll have one for tomorrow," Quinn said as she raised her hand.

"Umm... I don't t-think this is really m-me." Tina stuttered and Mr Schue nodded.

The bell rang and Brittany skipped out the door. I tried to jog catch up with her. She turned and skipped backwards as she heard my footsteps behind her. She giggled as she held up her hand a curled her index finger suggestively at me. I met her eyes and smiled broadly.

"Oh look it's the two Lesbos" A jock chortled to the rest of his cronies. "Hey Brittany do you even know what that means?" another said condescendingly.

"Do you doofus? I thought I told you creepy dorks to leave her the fuck alone? Or did your brains finally fall out ya heads?" I said critically. I arched my eyebrow and linked arms with Brittany as I waited for a response.

"Shut the fuck up Lopez, like you even care about that stupid slut anyway?" a blonde football player grunted.

"Of course I do, that's why I'm going out with her asshole. Why don't you go drop the soap in the shower, you know you love it." I said harshly. Brittany was just looking at the floor nervously.

"Look there ain't no Kurt's around here and that's the way it stays." He retorted.

"I'll bet you a hundred bucks there is and there jealous of how courageous he is. So why don't you check yourselves before you wreck yourselves losers." I chucked shrewdly as I began to walk away with Brittany in toe.

"You better watch that little piece of ass you got there Lopez, your both going down." An ape of a boy called.

I stopped in my tracks and made Brittany stay where she was and I made my way back to the group and slapped the boy across the face. "Her name is Brittany. She's amazing. I will do whatever I have to to make sure all of you jerks die before you hurt her. Do whatever you want to me but touch her and will cut all of you." I said with conviction. I strode back to Brittany and kissed her lips. I gave the huddle of football player's one last glare. I took her hand and we made our way to her house.

We pulled up at her house and we were greeted by her mother at the door. Her mother kissed us other on the forehead. She headed into the kitchen and left us in the hall.

"B, go up and get changed or something, I want to talk to your mom." I said coolly.

"Umm, is everything ok?" She answered meekly.

"Yea just give us a minute."

With that Brittany started for the stairs and I for the kitchen. Her mother, Regina, was preparing dinner and had her back turned to the door.

"Hey Ms P, can we talk for a minute?" I asked politely.

"Santana I told you to call me Regina." She snickered. "But what's wrong dear?"

"Oh well nothing's wrong, you might want to sit down though." She turned with a quizzical look on her face and sat down beside me at the table.

"If it's about the Spanish test she failed, I heard and it's not your fault."

"She told me she passed that." I said with frustrated.

"Darling, what's this really about, go ahead."

"Um well you see... Britt and I... are like... together now. Is that ok with you? I mean I understand if you against the whole thing but you see I really love her and I didn't-"

"Santana." She cut in. "just breathe for a second please." She laughed and took my hand.

"Oh sorry." I blushed a little.

"Santana I'm going to be honest with you, I saw this coming for quite a while but I'm really happy for you too." She smiled.

"I'll take really good care of her and I'll help her with all of her homework and everything else."

"I know you will because you all ready do. You help her far too much anyway and I really appreciate it. You don't have to show me that you'll be good to her because you already are. I completely trust you with her Santana." I breathed a sigh of relief and thanked her.

"I'll talk to her father when he gets back, so that's one less stress to deal with."

"Yea that would be great." I said and gave her a small smile.

"Have you said it to your parents?"

"Like they'd care, you know that." I said coldly

"Oh Santana." She sighed as she stroked my cheek. "One day... but until then, you have me."

I thanked her and she got back up to tend to the meal.

"Thank you for telling me Santana."

"Thanks for not going crazy." To this we both laughed. After a couple of moment I left and headed up to Brittany's room.

I entered and saw the most beautiful girl in the world. She stood there changing out of her uniform and I gaped at the sight. I grabbed her around the waist and kissed her bare back up her spine. She continued to change and when she was finished we sat curled up together on her bed.

"So do you need help with your song?" I whispered.

"Nope, Quinn helped me... it's really good." She said nonchalantly

"Cool, I can't wait to hear it."

"Your song was hot though." She murmured seductively.

She moved to kiss me and let's just say we missed dinner that night.

So Quinn helped her. I wonder what she singing, it better not be embarrassing because I swear I will kill Fabray if it is.

_**Review... Good Songs? Theres a twist in the tail at the end of this week. Keep reviewing to find out what it is!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_More Singing YAY :) angst too :s_**

Another morning waking up beside Brittany; I could totally get used to this. I'm seriously considering the fact that she could be part angel or something. I just count myself lucky that some stupid guy didn't get her, I did. Her eyelids opened slowly and she yawned like a little puppy. She stretched her arms and rolled around, a bit too much though because she fell off the side of the bed mid stretch. I crawled over to her side of the bed and looked down. There she was laughing to herself clutching her hand.

"You ok sexy?" I giggled.

"Yea... Ouch... my hand hurts." She said with a little frown.

"Awh, c'mere I'll make it better."

She got to her feet and curled back up under the duvet.

"Now show me your hand." She held out her hand in front of my face, she winced as I took it in my own.

I scanned it, nothing broken or dislocated, I could tell after years of Cheerio's injuries. I kissed what seemed to be the sorest spot and watched her face go from hurt to happy in a matter of seconds. I smiled rolled to sit at the side of the bed.

"Better?"

"Uh huh." She grinned.

"Thought so." I smirked.

We both got changed and headed down to grab some breakfast. Her mother had two bowls of cereal ready. She smiled at me and kissed Brittany on top of her head as she sat down. We devoured our cereal and headed off to school. Regina grabbed hold of my shoulder as I was about to leave the kitchen.

"Santana, you above anyone knows how much I worry about Brittany. I know this town does take kindly to 'difference'... so please don't let anyone hurt her. She's such a caring soul; she doesn't know how to deal with it."

"I know, and that's the last thing I would have let happen." I said strongly.

She wrapped me in a hug and with one final squeeze she let me go. I followed Brittany out to the car.

"What did she say to you?" Brittany asked as I got into the passenger's seat.

"Oh nothing, it doesn't matter."

"It does to me." She said as she ran a hand up and down my thigh.

"Well um I hope you don't mind but I told your mom about... us and she was just saying that I should take care of you or whatever." I muttered not meeting her eyes.

"Well she took it ok then? I guess that's good. And you take care of me already, so everything's ok, right?... San?" she tried to capture my attention, but I was too far off thinking.

To be honest it wasn't ok. I knew we were going to walk in to school today and Brittany was going to be called some awful names and she'll just freeze and I'll have to step up and fight for her yet again. I mean I loved doing that, it gave me this feeling inside that made me feel like a hero or something but it's got to the stage where I don't know if I'm always going to be there. What happens when I'm not, what happens if I don't hear her call my name. I did this to her, I could have just left the feelings, thrown them away. Brittany wouldn't have minded either way. I had to face my actions. I was Santana Lopez not that Asian glee girl who doesn't know how to talk. I could do this; I've always had to do this. Suck it up Lopez.

"Yea B, everything's ok." I mumbled after a long while.

I knew I hadn't convinced her but the answer would tide her over.

So I was right, we walked in and tah-fricking-dah we meet a collection of apes jeering and laughing. I just simply turned to Brittany.

"Do you love me?" I spoke softly.

"Yea... Of course I do." She replied. That's all the motivation I needed.

I nodded and walked over to the group of about six.

"Look I'm not sure what is wrong with you bizarre freaks of nature, I mean how many times do I have to tell you all that you're not getting any of this?. I swear if you don't stop and leave us the fuck alone I'm gonna make sure none of you get football scholarships anywhere, and don't think I can't. You all are just gonna stay here as Lima losers struggling to keep a job at the Pick n' Save."

"It's not like you any better than us Lopez." One of the giants snickered.

"Dude seriously look at me I could do anything I want seen I still have my brain intact."

"You're on your last warning Lopez." Another one of the brutes shouted.

"Try me bitches." I stood with my arms crossed. That was a bad mistake.

Two of the jocks grabbed me and flung me against the lockers behind. I landed on the ground with a 'thud'. That was painful. I looked up to see the highfiveing fuckers standing there smirking. I got back to my feet and punched one of them square in the face. I hit him so hard I swear I heard his jaw crack. As for the other I kicked him in the stomach, knocking all the wind out of the guy and sending him coughing backwards. I laughed at the sight but then everything went dark.

"Shit man, you shouldn't have done that." A manly voice called in a muggy haze. There were a lot of footsteps and then it went silent.

"Santana please wake up." I heard a voice murmur. A hand clutched my own.

"Oh crap... what the hell happened?" I questioned as my eyes tried to adjust to the light.

"San... your awake... oh god those stupid football players hit you." she said with a grimace. "I was so scared."

"Ugh don't worry about it." I got up and sat at the side of the bed I was on. I hated the nurse's office.

From what I could tell I was fine. I felt my face and I could feel my eye sting. I didn't bruise easily which was good because that would have been a nasty one. I grabbed Brittany hand and led her out. I brought her to the choir room because I knew that was the one place those idiots obviously wouldn't be.

"Santana I'm so-" Brittany began as we sat down.

"Don't, it's not your fault. I went over to them." I said with my hand still feeling my eye.

Her hands reached out and cupped my face and before I knew it we were kissing, quite intensely. I moved closer to her and put my arms around her. It was times like these that I remembered that it was all worth. Sometimes though if I was honest it was easy to lose sight and forget.

The bell echoed around the silent room and we pulled back. She told me I had been out for the whole day and we had Glee now. Jeez those guys must have killed me or something.

The choir room began to fill up and Mr Schuester stood up the top. Quinn came up to me looking worried.

"Santana, I thought you went home, are you ok? I helped B take you to the nurse's office." She said as she put a hand on my shoulder.

"Yea don't worry about me I'm cool." I lied.

Her eyes searched mine. "I'm coming over today." I nodded and she hugged me close for a moment and then went to sit down beside Mercedes.

"Ok, who's gonna start us off today?" Quinn raised her hand and stood up. She waltzed over to the piano. She steadied herself and began.

_If I beg and if I cry would it change the sky tonight?__  
__Will it give me sunlight?__  
__Should I wait for you to call? Is there any hope at all?__  
__Are you drifting by?_

_When I think about it I know that I was never held or even cared__  
__The more I think about it the less that I was able to share with you__  
__I try to reach for you, I can almost feel you__  
__You're nearly here and then_

_You disappear__  
__(Disappear, disappear, disappear)__  
__You disappear__  
__(Disappear, disappear, disappear)_

_And then I lie all by myself, I see your face, I hear your voice__  
__My heart stays faithful__  
__And time has come and time has passed, if it's good, it's got to last__  
__It feels so right_

_When I think about it I know that I was never held or even cared__  
__The more I think about it the less that I was able to share with you__  
__I try to reach for you, I can almost feel you__  
__You're nearly here and then_

_You disappear__  
__(Disappear, disappear, disappear)__  
__You disappear__  
__(Disappear, disappear, disappear)__  
__You, you disappear__  
__(Disappear, disappear, disappear)__  
__You disappear_

_I missed all the signs one at a time__  
__You were ready__  
__What did I know starting our lives__  
__No, my love I'm ready to shine_

_When I think about it I know that I was never held or even cared__  
__The more I think about it the less that I was able to share with you__  
__I try to reach for you, I can almost feel you__  
__You're nearly here and then_

_You disappear, you disappear__  
__You disappear, you disappear, disappear__  
_

I clapped for the girl. It was a really impressive performance. I looked to Brittany who clapped longer than anyone else and sat on the edge of her seat wide eyed. She looked to me and smiled. I sighed and rested my head on her shoulder for a moment.

"Well done Quinn, you girls are doing well so far!" Mr Schue enthused. "Looks like we're down to you Brittany."

Brittany looked to Quinn and they shared a glance, she then hopped out of her seat and skipped down to Brad and explained what seemed like a complicated plan to him which in fact was just her song title. She stood there, and stared me right in the eye.

_Remember the first day when I saw your face?__  
__Remember the first day when you smiled at me?__  
__You stepped to me, and then you said to me,__  
__I was the woman you dreamed about.__  
__Remember the first day when you called my house?__  
__Remember the first day when you took me out?__  
__We had butterflies although we tried to hide it,__  
__And we both had a beautiful night._

_The way we held each other's hand,__  
__The way we talked, the way we laughed,__  
__It felt so good to find true love__  
__I knew right then and there you were the one__  
__ooh oh oooh_

She moved up to where we were sitting and sang to me. Normally I'd be uncomfortable but because of the conviction in her gaze I just sat there in utter adoration.

_I know that she loves me, cause she told me so__  
__I know that she loves me, cause her feelings show__  
__When she stares at me, you see she cares for me__  
__You see how she is so deep in love__  
__I know that she loves me cause it's obvious__  
__I know that she loves me cause it's me she trusts__  
__And she's missing me, if she's not kissing me__  
__And when she looks at me her brown eyes tell her soul_

_Remember the first day, the first day we kissed?__  
__Remember the first day we had an argument?__  
__We apologized, and then we compromised__  
__And we haven't argued since__  
__Remember the first day we stopped playing games?__  
__Remember the first day you fell in love with me?__  
__It felt so good for you to say those words__  
__Cause I felt the same way too_

She took my hand smiled.

_The way we held each other's hand,__  
__The way we talked, the way we laughed__  
__It felt soo good to fall in love__  
__And I knew right then and there you were the one ooh oh ohh woah_

_I know that she loves me, cause she told me so__  
__I know that she loves me, cause her feelings show__  
__When she stares at me you see she cares for me__  
__You see how she is so deep in love,__  
__I know that she loves me cause it's obvious__  
__I know that she loves me cause it's me she trusts__  
__And she's missing me, if she's not kissing me__  
__And when she looks at me her brown eyes tell her soul._

Her stare intensified.

_I'm so happy, so happy that you're in my life__  
__And baby now that you're a part of me__  
__You showed me,__  
__Showed me the true meaning of love (the true meaning of love)__  
__And I know she loves me_

_I know that she loves me, cause she told me so__  
__I know that she loves me, cause her feelings show__  
__When she stares at me you see she cares for me__  
__You see how she is so deep in love__  
__I know that she loves me cause it's obvious__  
__I know that she loves me cause it's me she trusts__  
__And she's missing me, if she's not kissing me__  
__And when she looks at me her brown eyes tell her soul__  
__She looks at me and her brown eyes...__  
__Tell her soul__  
_

Everyone but Brittany and I stood up in applause; we sat there encased in each other's stare. She gave me a goofy smile and Mr Schuester's voice broke the gaze.

"Whoa Brittany, really nice." He smiled chirpily. "I'll have my decision on the winner by the end of the week."

"Um Mr Schue, Britt and I have to go to the bathroom." I said as I grabbed Brittany's hand and practically ran her out of the room.

We sprinted to the janitor's closet and locked it. I pressed her up against the door and kissed her desperately.

"You're... so... hot... really... good... song." That's all I could manage between the passionate kisses.

"Thanks... baby... I ... love... you" She breathed.

I pulled back. "I love you too sweetie." I kissed her neck a couple of times and the bell rang.

"Crap I gotta get Quinn." I said disappointedly.

"Ok... will you walk me to my car?" I nodded and took her hand.

We walked out the front door with Brittany and spotted Quinn. I held up my finger symbolising that I'd be there in a minute she nodded and leaned back against the school building. We got to Brittany's car and I forced her up against it. I smirked and planted a few kissed on her lips before I pulled back and opened the door for her. She got in and gave me a little wave as she drove off.

I walked back over to Quinn who was wearing a very smug smile.

"You too are so freaking cute together." She said happily.

"Yea... shut up Q." I laughed.

We then linked arms and strolled to my house and filled the silence with mindless small talk. When we got inside we went straight to my room. Quinn sat down on my bed and threw her bag on the floor. I sat on the chair at my desk and met the girl's worried stare.

"So why you here Q?" I asked bluntly.

"Santana you're supposed to be nice your guests."

"Oh sorry my mom never taught me that." I said sharply.

"S don't be like this. Just talk to me."

Quinn knew me better than anyone bar Brittany. She knew my family history and even had me over a couple of times to save me from being alone.

"It's just been getting harder with me and Britt, you know?" I said and my face fell. "I thought it'd be all rainbows but it's the fucking opposite. I don't want to do this to Brittany, I see the look in her eye sometimes and it hurts."

"Oh San c'mere." She said and patted the space beside her.

I hesitated for a moment, but then I pushed myself up and beside her. She put her arm around me and I sighed. It was weird being touched by someone other than Brittany. I knew Quinn loved me and it was cool to have another close friend after Britt.

"Santana, it'll get easier." She said reassuringly

"What if it doesn't? I don't want put through this."

I really didn't, the one thing I didn't want to happen more than anything was happening. I wonder if I just left, would it go back to normal. Would Brittany be left alone? I mean Brittany didn't understand her feelings I don't think anyway, she'd move on wouldn't she, find someone new. I'm bad for her.

"Quinn, will you promise me something."

"Sure San, anything."

"Ok... if I was to every go, just leave, would you take of Brittany for me?" I said slowly.

She shifted and looked at me. "S... what are you saying?" She said as her eyebrows knitted in worry.

"Look Q I need you to promise me this, please..." I trailed off begging for her promise.

"Ok, I promise but I swear Santana if you do something stupid Brittany will never get over it."

"Yea she will." I muttered but Quinn didn't catch it.

Days were shit. I need to see Brittany again. She's like my little drug; I needed a hit really badly.

**_Review please!_**


	8. Chapter 8

_**More angst... i spent the best part of my night trying to get this chapter finished, more to come, hope you enjoy it!**_

Quinn went home that night and left me with my thoughts; my ingenious and brutal thoughts. I texted Brittany after Quinn left for some virtual company and distraction.

'_Hey B, your song was seriously good today, I loved it.' _

'_Hi San :) thanks, it was for you.'_

'_Well considering you stared at me for the whole thing...'_

'_Yea it felt super good to sing to you, I was all tingly'_

'_Thank Quinn for helping you.'_

'_Already done, I gotta go to bed, mom says I need more sleep, but that's your fault. Bye S, love you xxx'_

'_Yea bye Britt, I love you too, always will xxx' _With that I threw my phone away from me.

I lay there in silence and bleakness on my own. By the weekend this bleakness will all be over.

* * *

I got up the next morning with no stunning blonde lying next to me; that was disappointing. I got changed and exited my desolate house. I walked to school alone running through scenarios in my head. Brittany would do just fine. No she wouldn't what would she do without you? Quinn would take care of her. Not like you can, it wouldn't be the same. Brittany would get over it. No she wouldn't it would permanently hurt her; forever. Christ I was getting a headache from all this back and forth in my own head. I pinched the bridge of my nose as I made my way through the parking lot of McKinley High. Brittany's car was already there, I could picture her just standing staring at her locker. I picked up the pace and pushed the front door. As I walked in I heard shouts.

"She's here... do it now... do it dude."

I looked up instinctively to see red spray cover her. The crushed ice and corn syrup mixed and splashed her face and clothing. I watched in horror as she froze. Only the lowest of the low were slushied, this wasn't meant to happen to her. Brittany uttered one word and word only.

"Santana." She said in almost a whisper, but I heard.

I rushed to her aid, as she simply stood rooted to the ground. I wiped the excess slush from her face and swept her hair off her face.

"I'm here." I said in a soft voice as I took her shaking hand.

I led her towards the girl's bathroom and we were followed. The jeering was unending and the taunts were overused. The boys fumbled over one another to get the remarks heard. I drove Brittany in the door and I hung back for a moment.

"I hope you're all happy, you just made the nicest girl in school cry." My voice cut like a knife through butter. "Your all gonna pay because dudes your bad karma points are just adding the fuck up." MY empty threats wouldn't hold out for much longer.

They were silent; for a half second. "I'm pretty proud of us; we're here to teach a lesson Lopez. We're not going stop until you do."

To this they shook hands with each other and congratulated themselves. I tried my hardest not to look defeated, Santana Lopez was never defeated, right? So I used the old reliable line.

"I'm not even gonna dignify that with a response." I said as strongly as I could before I pushed through the bathroom door and checked on Brittany.

I walked in to see her huddled in a heap on the ground. I wanted beat the crap out of those guys and then I wanted to cry and after that I wanted to drink myself into oblivion. She shivered and her breath hitched. She needed fresh clothes and to wash her face and hair. I slowly made my way over to her.

"Britt?" I said as I sat down on my knees in front of her.

"..."

"Brittany, please just look at me." I whispered as I used my hand to tilt her head upwards.

"You know, Rachel's right, the only good about being slushied is that no one can tell that you're crying." She said in a complete deadpan.

"I can tell B." I sighed.

Suddenly the door flew open and before I had time to react with a scream two people knelt beside me and there was a hand on my shoulder. Kurt and Mercedes each took one of Brittany's hands and I turned to see Quinn looking down at me. I stood back from Brittany to let the two Glee diva's work to help her from their experiences. They were looking after her like I couldn't. Why was Brittany even with me? Quinn hugged me close as I stood up. I looked over to find Berry pacing furiously. I wanted so desperately to laugh but I couldn't, I physically couldn't.

"We need to get this girl some clothes." Mercedes announced.

"I agree that crushed ice really soaks all fabrics." Kurt added.

"There are clothes in my locker but I'm not leaving her." I muttered.

"I'll go grab 'em" Mercedes says as she makes her way out.

I sat down beside Brittany and laced her fingers in mine. I turned kissed her on the cheek. She was still shivering so I put a loving arm around her, letting her know I was there.

"Do you wanna wash up?" I suggested.

Brittany nodded and I helped her up. I got some tissue paper and wetted it under the tap. I dabbed her face where the corn syrup was most prevalent. I then began to clean her neck as Mercedes returned with my duffel bag. I thanked her and took it. I caressed Brittany cheek and looked into her eyes. There it was; the look. The look of complete, utter and unmistakable hurt. It wrenched my heart in a vice grip and squeezed it so tight I forgot to breathe.

"Do you want help?" I offered as I held up the bag to Brittany.

She shook her head and took the bag and ambled towards one of the stalls to change. Then I felt all eyes turn to me. Even Berry stopped pacing to stare. Mercedes patted me on the shoulder and gave me a knowing look. Kurt gave a sorrowful nod and flipped his hair. Quinn gathered me up in another hug.

"It'll get easier." She whispered into my ear.

"No it won't." I shot back and pulled out of the hug.

Rachel stood still and gave me a faint smile. That smile... pity. I was getting pity from Rachel 'Queen of the Jews' Berry. Holy fuck when had my life decided to fuck itself up? Brittany returned from the stall in my sweats and my tee. I kissed her on the forehead and wrapped my arm back around her.

"Take her back to your place Santana." Quinn ordered. I nodded and turned back to Brittany.

"Is that ok with you." She simply nuzzled herself into the crook of my neck.

"Alright well umm... thank you guys." I said slowly, it felt weird to thank people who weren't Quinn, Brittany or the chef at Breadsticks.

Kurt held his hand up as we tried to leave. He peaked his head out the door and swivelled back around.

"All's clear ladies, may I suggest coco, it always makes me happy."

I looked down to watch Brittany's featured contort in to a childish smile. I mouthed a 'thank you' to the boy and he just flipped his hair, again, and smiled smugly. Thank the Lord, she smiled, all was going to be well. I escorted her out of the bathroom and down the empty hall. We walked to her car and I asked for the keys. She gave me another small smile when I opened the car door for her I drove her back to my house. My parents had called the other day; their conference blah blah blah medicine is important blah blah blah have to stay longer. More Brittany time I guess.

I told Brittany to have a shower and I gave her some towels. She went upstairs and I heard the sound of water pound through the nozzle. I made my way to the kitchen and started on the coco. I warmed the milk, added the powder and a little sugar. I kept it warm until I heard the water stop then I poured it into two mugs and added the tiny marshmallows she loved. I sat down at the table and draped my hands around my hot mug.

Brittany came through the door in a new outfit on and her wet hair hanging in waves around her shoulders. She looked so hot. She didn't even have to try and just wanted to push her up against the counter and-

"Do you want to sit inside?" She asked quietly.

"Sure." I said as I snapped my mind back from the gutter.

I got up and went to the living room with her. I set my coco down on the coffee table and lay down on the couch patting the space in front of me. She lay down focused on her mug, trying not to spill the contents. I snuggled into her and ran my fingers through her damp hair.

"Are you ok?" I questioned.

"I guess so; it's just that stuff is so cold." With that I wrapped an arm around her waist and she took a swig from her mug.

"I'm sorry Britt, for everything."

"It's not your fault San." She said turning to face me.

"Yea it is Britt, everything's just..." I trailed off not knowing what to say.

"Everything will be fine." And there it was that flicker in her eye again; the look. She was hurting and still not saying anything.

"I hope so baby." I smiled at her. That fake Cheerio's smile I had perfected so much so that not even Brittany could see through it.

I kissed her on the forehead a couple of times and once on the lips. I let her get back to her coco while I thought.

No more hiding hurt for Brittany if you left. Then again she couldn't tell anyone anything. She'd find someone. Nope no one would want to take on the train wreck she'd become. I literally hated my brain right now. But then it had yet another idea. Actions speak louder than words and in Glee singing was the loudest action. Lopez you are one clever motherfucker. Sing what you can't say.

_**Singing in the next chapter... review?**_


	9. Chapter 9

**_We're coming to the end of this little story, so thanks to all who reviewed! Much appreciated! There's going to be one or two last chapters, haven't quite decided yet. _**

I slipped away from Brittany on the couch as she fell silently to sleep. I brought down my laptop and sat in the armchair opposite. I searched through all the Beyonce lyrics I could find and settled on two songs. I decided a mash up would be best, so I fused the two songs together as best I could. It sound kind of iffy but it was the lyrics that mattered. I looked up from my laptop to see Brittany still sleeping deeply. I saved my song and turned off the laptop. I got up and picked Brittany up, cradling her. I brought her upstairs and laid her down on my bed. I pulled back the covers and tucked her in. I then changing into my pyjamas and slid in next to her. I kissed her once on the forehead and drifted off to sleep with my arms protectively draped around her.

* * *

We got up the next morning fumbling around trying to shut off my alarm, which had for some reason decided to work today. First I hit it, but no it wouldn't turn off so Brittany scrambled over me to fix it. She tried talking to it, and of course that didn't work so I reached down and plugged it out from the wall and lay back to find Brittany on top of me with her legs either side of my waist.

"Sorry." She giggled.

"It's cool. It's just so fricking loud." To this she laid her head down on my chest and sighed with content.

"I love you Sanny." She said softly.

"I love you too." I replied. "School?"

She shifted uncomfortable and nodded. "I guess so..."

I picked her up and placed her down on the ground. She looked to her Cheerio's uniform and saw the stain. I took it off her and brought it to the bathroom and went to work. I turned on the tap and rubbed the fabric to together to try and loosen the corn syrup up. I needed to bleach it but that would have to wait.

"B, grab my spare uniform out of my closet." I called.

"Ok San, Thanks." She replied.

I left the stained uniform hanging over the side of the bath drying. I got changed into my own outfit and made a mental note to steal Brittany a new Cheerio's uniform. We got to school a little bit late so the halls were empty, thank god. I walked Brittany to her first class and told her teacher some random excuse about a dentist appointment to which he just shrugged and nodded. I winked at Brittany and waltzed back out into the hall. I walked to Mr Schue's office to see him sitting there grading papers. I knocked on the door lightly and walked in.

"Mr Schue?"

"Hi Santana, aren't you supposed to be in class?"

"Not important, listen I wanted to talk to you about something for Glee."

"Umm ok, what is it?"

"I want all the Glee kids in the auditorium after school." I said bluntly.

"Why exactly?"

"Well is it doable?" I demanded. When you're Santana Lopez you don't just ask for things.

"Well I think so but Santana why-"

"Cool, let all the Glee peeps know, thanks." I said as I strut out of his office.

"Santana!" I heard him shout after me but I already hightailed it.

I strolled to whatever class I had and sat down the back, all I could think about was the song. Half of me didn't want to go through with it, but I was Santana Lopez and I was gonna bring on a show because I had no other choice. I wanted so badly to sing and for Brittany to understand and to kiss me and say we'd fight it together; say that everything would be ok with out that look in her eye, telling me in fact the opposite.

I couldn't involve Principal Figgins because with my past, my parents said one more major incident no matter how I was involved they'd pull me out of that school and move us all to Florida. I couldn't tell anyone but Quinn, and I made her promise not to say a word. She thought I could handle it and frankly, so did I, at the time.

The bell rang for lunch and I went to find Brittany, I waited at her locker as Quinn and Puck passed.

"Have you guys seen Britt?"

"No, she was in my first class but then second period I don't where she went." Quinn answered.

"Yea, I think she was supposed to be in my English class, but I guess she wasn't." Puck thought out loud.

I cursed under my breath and started to walk away.

"Lopez, we were talking to you?" Puck called as Quinn pulled him away.

I ran to the bathroom and called her name, no response, just terrified freshmen's staring. I growled at them and stormed out. Santana was on the war path. The crowded hall separated to let me pass, no one daring to step out from their lockers. I checked the classroom I left her in this morning; nothing. I tried Ms Pillsbury office and again nothing. The choir room, the auditorium, the basketball court and the football field. I panted as I ran from one to the other. I sat on the football field propped up against the goalpost. I looked to the bleachers to see a lone blonde girl sitting up the very top. I made my way over and jogged up the steps. I slowed my pace as I neared her; she had her head in her hands. I sat down beside her and put an arm around the girl.

"Brittany?" she stirred slightly as I called her name. "Britt, what happened?

"They wouldn't stop, I asked them to, but they just wouldn't stop." She said in an eerie whisper.

"B, what the hell did they do to you?" I asked angrily.

"They just wouldn't stop shouting at me... and I called you San... but you weren't there... you didn't come." She stammered, her words laced with pain.

That hurt. I think I've been stabbed through the heart. I pretty sure those words were a dagger in her hands; a she just drove it through me. I could feel myself welling up, but not for the fact that my girlfriend sat beside me upset, it was the fact that I let her down; I let her down bad. I wasn't there like I'd promised. Anyone else would have been there for her, god I'm such an idiot. I didn't sniffle of whine I just sat there and cried silent tears of utter sadness.

Brittany looked to me a few moments later; she didn't cry she was just wounded by all the vindictive name calling. I tried to dry my tears quickly but she stopped my hand.

"I'm sorry B, fuck, that's the only thing I say to you anymore." I said in a hushed voice.

She didn't reply. She just simply held her pinkie out. I smiled and locked our pinkies. She laid her head on my shoulder and sighed.

"It'll be ok San." She didn't even have to look at me, I could actually hear the look in her voice and she had to force herself to lie. She had to force the thought of greener pastures ahead on herself.

We didn't go to the rest of our classes instead we walked laps hand in hand around the football field. We didn't really talk much, we just kissed and hugged and told each other that one loved one another; mushy couple stuff. I heard the distant echoing of the school bell and told Brittany we had to go to the auditorium.

"What's the auditor..." She trailed off with a puzzled look.

"Aw-di-tor-re-um" I enunciated. "The big hall where we perform with the Glee kids." She simply nodded.

I loved her adorable perplexedness. Her brow knotted together and then relaxed after my brief explanation. I also liked how she never questioned me, not once had she ever asked why we did what we did. I didn't deserve her. I didn't deserve the amazing person she was. We strode into the auditorium, fingers laced. We sat down next to Quinn and Rachel. Mr Schue stood on the stage tried to get the group to settle down. He final got all of our attention.

"Well gang, this visit to the auditorium was by special request by Santana, so if you wanna come here and explain." He motioned his hand towards me and everyone turned to look with confused eyes. I got up and kissed Brittany on the top of her head and made my way onto the stage. Mr Schuester nodded to me and took a seat in the second row. I took a deep breath and looked to Brittany.

"I wanted to sing this, simple as. Listen to the lyrics and if it means something to you, great. If it doesn't; whatever." I walked over to Brad who was waiting patiently at the piano. I then sauntered back to the centre of the stage. I looked to Quinn and she smiled supportively. I then looked back to Brittany as I begun.

_Remember those walls I built__  
__Well, baby they're tumbling down__  
__And they didn't even put up a fight__  
__They didn't even make up a sound__  
_

My gaze narrowed and I smiled at the beautiful blonde.

_I found a way to let you in__  
__But I never really had a doubt__  
__Standing in the light of your halo__  
__I got my angel now_

_It's like I've been awakened__  
__Every rule I had you breakin'__  
__It's the risk that I'm takin'__  
__I ain't never gonna shut you out_

I looked at everyone and then settled on Quinn.

_I lay alone awake at night__  
__Sorrow fills my eyes__  
__But I'm not strong enough to cry__  
__Despite of my disguise__  
__I'm left with no shoulder__  
__But everybody wants to lean on me.__  
__I guess I'm their soldier.__  
__Well, who's gonna be mine_

I felt tears burning behind my eyes but I'd rather cut off my feet then cry in front of the Gleeks. I looked back to Brittany who seemed to be paying full attention.

_Everywhere I'm looking now__  
__I'm surrounded by your embrace__  
__Baby I can see your halo__  
__You know you're my saving grace_

_You're everything I need and more__  
__It's written all over your face__  
__Baby I can feel your halo__  
__Pray it won't fade away_

_I bottle all my hurt inside,__  
__I guess I'm living a lie.__  
__Inside my mind each day I die__  
__What can bring me back to life?_

Brittany had begun to clap along and beam.

_Hit me like a ray of sun__  
__Burning through my darkest night__  
__You're the only one that I want__  
__Think I'm addicted to your light_

_Who's there to save the hero__  
__Who's there to save the girl__  
__After she saves the world…__  
__After she saves the world._

_I can see your halo halo halo_

I was finished and I needed to cry so badly. Mr Schue stood up and clapped.

"Santana I think we have our winner congratulations."

I looked to Mercedes who just smiled and nodded approvingly. "Thanks Mr Schuester."

"Well I think we can finish up early today on that note." He announced as he clapped his hands and everyone filed out.

Brittany got up onto the stage and hugged me. "That was nice. Are we going home now?"

That was it, 'nice'. No 'oh Santana I completely understand' or 'I didn't know you were feeling like that'. I probably expected too much, it was Brittany after all. The one time I wanted something from her, to concentrate, scratch that, the one time she needed to concentrate and big surprise she doesnt. She just stood there expecting an answer.

"I'm going home alone." I said quietly

"Umm ok? Will I see you later?"

"Probably not." With that I readied myself to leave. "I love you B, always will."

"I love you too." As she said it I kissed her lips and wrapped my arms around her.

I let go and walked out of the auditorium alone. I then walked home alone. Once at home I cried... alone.

**_Review please! Happy or Sad ending?_**


	10. Chapter 10

**_So it all comes to a head in this chapter!_**

I just lay on my bed, tears falling without hesitation. I curled myself up and suddenly heard the sound of my phone signalling a text. It was Quinn.

'_Hey S, so what did B say to you about that song?'_

I didn't want to reply but decided to give her something_. 'She said it was nice.'_

My phone lit up almost immediately after_. 'Is that all she said?'_

I sniffled and I yelled out, I broke things in this blind fury mixed with sadness. "Yes Q, that's all she fucking said." I shouted out loud to myself as I threw my clock against the wall. It smashed and I sat down on my floor as I panted. My phone vibrated again. I wanted Brittany to come and just hold me for a while then I'd be fine. Then again the whole reason I'm not fine is because of her. I may be Santana motherfucking Lopez and love to refer to myself in the third person, but I get tired, I struggle. People have this image of me, the fiery tyrant who never goes down without a fight or an evil glare, that I've worked so hard for. Sometimes I want to drop the facade and just be Santana Lopez, that girl who's in love with Brittany, no extra attached. I would also like if Brittany stood up for me for or a change or even herself, but that will never happen. Quinn sent me yet another text.

I trudged downstairs as I calmed down somewhat, but before I left my room I grabbed a frame containing one of the best pictures of Brittany and I. I held it close to my chest as I walked to the kitchen. I set it down on one of the counter tops and looked fondly at it. "This has to happen; I'm doing it for Brittany. I repeated my mantra until I didn't I forgot I was saying it. I got into my Papi's tool shed and looked around. I decided that I had nowhere to run away to so that wasn't an option. I also decided it had to be reasonably quick, so pills were out of the question. I thought about a gun, but there was no way I was fucking up my hotness. Then there's the whole wrist cutting. N-O. That's far to emo. There was only one idea left. With that I picked the thickest rope I could find.

I hung it around the ceiling fan and made my best attempt at a noose. The YouTube video was way too hard to follow. I wrote letters, I wasn't sure why, I just felt it was apt; one to my parents, one to Quinn and one to Brittany. Writing the one to Brittany was one of the hardest things I had ever done. I cried solidly while the pen scribbled desperately. I had to put all my feeling on this one piece of paper, it was heart wrenching. I left the three letters on the table and got a chair.

This was it. I stood on the chair and tested out the noose's strength once more by pulling on it. I jumped down from the chair and grabbed my picture. I got up onto the chair once more and put the noose around my neck, the rope itched my skin. I wasn't like other people who wanted to eat their favourite meal or listen to their favourite song before they died, I just wanted to die, end of. I gripped the frame tightly and took one more look at her.

"I love you Brittany Susan Pierce; this was for you. I didn't want you to get hurt anymore, just be happy ok? I love you so fricking much." I said as tears streamed at the meaningful sentiment I put into the words as I spoke. I took one last breath.

I then kicked the chair from under my feet.

I dangled and struggled for a few moments before my consciousness started to fail me. I blinked rapidly, here it came, death. I could have sworn before I passed out from lack of oxygen I saw a figure.

I know its clichéd but my life did do a quick recap before I departed. I flicked over my childhood and my mother's harsh words. I watched Brittany, aged eight dance again, as if for the first time. I then saw her smile as I punched a guy who was harassing her. I looked on as Brittany aged ten dressed as a duck for Halloween and almost didn't make it out the door because she just wanted to look in the mirror. I observed her, aged fifteen as she stared at me with endearing eyes as she leaned in to kiss me. That was one of the best days of my life. I witnessed my sixteenth birthday party once more and that wonderful present Brittany gave me. I looked on as we walked through the hall pinkies linked, so in love. I sat in on our first date again and watched myself talk to those understanding couples. Brittany then reappeared singing to me so beautifully I wanted to ravish her, again. The final memory was of Brittany saying she loved me; I wasn't sure when I was but I didn't care. I loved her so much, she was my life... but I had to let her go.

* * *

I felt my feet hit solid ground.

"Santana?"

"Oh god." I groaned.

"Well yes but, do you know where you?" A mysterious voice echoed.

"Hell?"

"No, of course not... you're in heaven."

"I... what?"

"Would you like to sit down?"

I looked around the room, it was nothing but white. There were no doors, just a single average man sitting in a chair by himself.

"Dude if I'm in a mental institution I swear." I started.

"Santana why did you kill yourself?" he said calmly as I sat down in the chair beside him.

"I guess you know why. I did it for Brittany; I didn't want to hurt her anymore."

"You did everything for her." He began. "You were quite saint like to her and I commend you on your efforts."

"Yay me." I clapped sarcastically.

"Santana if I could grant you one request, what would it be?"

"Umm I really don't know." I said unsurely.

"May I pick something for you then?"

"It better be good..." I said as I crossed my arms.

I wasn't sure what the fuck was happening but I was weirdly calm even though I felt like I was on the biggest trip ever.

"I'm sending you back Santana, you have to much unfinished business."

"You cant... I'm dead?" I asked curiously.

"San... Santana... S!" The room echoed and faded away.

* * *

Soon my world span and my body shook. I opened my eyes to find Brittany shaking me and calling my name. Tears streaked her face and her eyes widened as she met my hazy stare. She crumpled on top of me and cried loudly.

"San... I... What... Santana..." She sniffled incoherently.

I just lay there. I didn't talk, I didn't hug back; I just lay silently on the kitchen floor. I couldn't cry or scream; just absolute and total silence. She finally composed herself somewhat and picked me up; she sat me in one of the chairs in the kitchen and took out her phone. She hit some buttons and held it up to ear still looking at me. She whispered into the phone and if I'm honest I wasn't really concentrating. I was so very tired all of a sudden. She sat down when she got off the phone and took hold of my hand. I know she was talking but I just wasn't listening.

Someone then began knocking at the door. Brittany shot up and ran out to answer it. She whispered hurriedly to our new addition to the situation. Brittany and Quinn then entered the kitchen. Quinn gasped as she saw the noose hanging idly from the ceiling fan. The two obviously upset blondes sat down either side of me. They each took one of my hands in their own, but I was numb and didn't return any emotion.

"B, can I speak with Santana for a minute? Alone." Quinn asked politely.

"I don't want to leave her." Brittany sobbed.

"I'm here with her Brittany, nothing's going to happen." To this Brittany nods and gives in. "Go lie down in the living room."

Brittany made for the exit and gave me once last glance.

"You didn't answer my texts S so I got worried... I told Brittany to go over and cuddle with you or something and to use her key because you probably wouldn't answer the door. Then she said that she found you..." Quinn left out some quiet sniffled. "You promised me Santana, you promised." She then began to sob heavier as I sat in my misty thoughts.

"Look Brittany's staying with you tonight, I can't because I have Beth, but please Santana don't do anything, just rest." She said almost to herself.

"Look at me... Look at me." She beseeched me.

I lifted my head slightly and met her tear filled eyes. They pleaded with me in complete silence.

"I promise." I rasped.

She hugged me tightly and said she had to talk to Brittany for moment. She stood and exited. I then followed her but stayed listening behind the door.

"_What do I do Quinn?"_

"_Just hold her tonight, she needs to know your there for her. B, you need to be strong for her. It's difficult for her to struggle all the time with people wanting to fight her for respect. She needs your help sometimes. Look up that song she sung, I think it's probably on her laptop, just read through a couple of times. Look, I love you and Santana equally so you gotta work as a team."_

"_I try Q, but Santana doesn't let me fight and I hate calling people bad names."_

"_Well then leave Santana with the fighting but you've got to do the loving. You've got to make her feel on top of the world, so just keep doing what you're doing. But B, you can't expect S to be everywhere you are... sometimes you've got to stand up for yourself, you know?"_

"_Umm ok, will you help me?"_

"_Yea we'll work on it, just focus on Santana for now."_

There were a couple of muffles as I retook my seat at the table. I was starting to feel things again. I felt definite love for both of them and I felt pain around my neck. I looked to the table and saw the letters. I grabbed all of them and stuffed them in my bag which sat resting on of the chairs. Brittany and Quinn returned. Quinn hugged and kissed me on the top of the head saying that she'd come by tomorrow but if I felt injured in any way that I should go to the hospital. Brittany escorted her out and then came back to sit beside me.

"Umm San..." she started. "Do you wanna go to bed?"

To that I simply nodded but didn't budge because at this stage I was completely fatigued. She wrapped one arm around my legs and one around my back and in one movement she lifted me and walked me upstairs. She laid me down on my bed and neither of us changed; she just clambered in the other side and covered me in the duvet.

Her arms enveloped me and I felt safe.

**_Continue? Do you want to see how it pans out? Want to see their future together? Or just finish? Please review!_**


	11. Chapter 11

**_And the Brittana Saga continues, enjoy._**

I woke up panting from my nightmare which was the night previous. Brittany lay beside me stroking my hair and kissing the top of my head.

"I'm here." She hushed me.

The feeling of Brittany was the thing I would have missed most. Her touch was so gentle and loving. I hated what I had put her through but today was a day for talking. We needed to straighten this shit storm out. I knew I'd be getting the royal treatment today because of what Quinn said yesterday, Woo.

"Do you want some breakfast? She asked slowly.

"Yea sure." I mumbled absently.

My emotions were still returning after what went on yesterday. I hadn't really had a chance to think about it fully and in truth I didn't want to think I just wanted to focus on Brittany. She got up and came around to my side of the bed and held out a hand. I took it and raised myself to stand in front of her. She pulled me into a comforting hug and kissed me on the cheek. She kept her grip on my hand and led me down to the kitchen. Brittany sat me down in a chair and started to work on making some food.

She stood staring at the pancake batter box for a good ten minutes. I got my feet and wrapped my arms around her waist. I grabbed the cup she had placed on the counter top.

"Flour." She followed and poured flour into the cup. I then poured that into the big bowl she had laid out.

"Egg." I ordered as I held out my hand. I cracked into the bowl and continued.

"Milk." I commanded and pointed at the cup again. I then added that and grabbed the wooden spoon.

"Stir." I instructed and she did so without hesitation.

I then heated the pan and allowed her to cook the pancakes. Surprisingly she did quite well; she didn't set the place on fire at least. She placed a plate of pancakes in front of me and handed me the maple syrup; my favourite. We ate in silence and when we were finished Brittany cleaned up at her insistence.

"So... do you wanna talk?" She said shyly as she dried her hands.

"Sure I don't mind." I said calmly.

"If you don't want to that's fine."

"Nah let's just get it over with." I got up and took her nervous hand and led her into the living room. We sat down and snuggled on the couch.

"So ask me what you want." I started off.

"Was I that bad Santana?" she said bluntly.

I turned to look at Brittany tear filled eyes. I couldn't believe she would even think that for a second. If anything I was trying to help the girl.

"Brittany... Look at me... this was in no way your fault, I love you and I always will. I just got my priorities fucked up and I'm sorry. I just... I just felt so bad for the way all those jocks made you feel. I didn't want you to feel hurt anymore; I wanted your life to be normal."

"My life would never be normal if you weren't in it."

"B I saw the look in your eye, the hurt you didn't tell me about." My eyes flickered at the memory.

"I was hurt for you Santana; I didn't want you to have to fight for everything."

"Oh... Britt I..." I trailed of and nuzzled my head into her neck.

"I'm here S, don't worry."

"Brittany... why don't you hate me by now?"

"Because I can't. I love you way too much. San just like we said when we we're younger that we'd be together forever, and I don't care what you say, we will be."

"Don't you want to be with anyone else?"

"Nope, because I have you. You're the most special girl in the world to me S."

With that tears started to roll down my cheeks. Brittany wiped them away with a comforting smile.

"How is your neck?" she inquired as she touched it.

I sprung back and stood up. I put my hands around and felt the harshly bruised skin. I thought back to the moment when I kicked the chair out from under myself that feeling was like no other; relief and complete terror at the same time. I was just hanging there waiting to die. Why did I put Brittany through this, when the hell did I become such an idiot.

"Santana I'm sorry I..."

"It's ok B I just need time."

She got up and put her hands around my waist from behind. She rested her head on the top of my back and sighed.

"I know, just tell me when you're ready."

"You'll be the first to know." I whispered my reply.

"S?"

"Uh huh?"

"Why didn't you just talk to me? Tell me what was going on."

"I didn't want to worry you; I wanted to keep everything perfect for you."

"Santana we need to be honest with each other from now on. If something's going wrong we need to talk about it." She said with composure.

Brittany had these moments of brilliance, the ones where I would just stand in awe of this girl who I have come to love. She knew exactly what made me tick, she knew how to calm me and she knew how to set me off. This was going to be a turning point on our relationship. Everything was going to better and if it wasn't we'd talk about it.

"Your right Britt, you're always right."

I turned to look and my blonde beauty and she wrapped me in a tight embrace. She rubbed small circled into my back and I could feel myself becoming more alive. Brittany was the only thing I needed in my life; everything was going to work out.

At Brittany's suggestion we laid back down on the couch together and watched most of The Lady and the Tramp before the door bell rang. Brittany got up and planted a kiss on my head as she went to answer the door. She came back with Quinn linked onto her arm. She walked slowly towards me and hugged me gently. Brittany sat down beside me once again and took my hand.

"Hows everything going S?" She said tentatively as she took a seat beside me.

"Seriously?" I asked harshly.

"I'm sorry, stupid question. Is there anything I can do?"

I shook my head as Brittany nodded hers. "You can help me grab some drinks."

Quinn nodded and the two blondes left me once again for a secret chat no doubt. This time I left them to it, I wasn't bothered to listen to them both fret anymore. I relaxed back onto the couch with my eyes closed and Brittany came back in still deep in conversation with Quinn.

"I'll help you B, don't worry. It's all about how you stand and your tone of voice I'll teach you some other time." Quinn said knowingly.

"Ok, thanks Q, you've been really helpful." I could hear the grin etched across her face.

I opened my eyes sleepily and looked to Brittany.

"Looks like we've got a tired little ducky on our hands Q."

To this I simply scowled and turned myself to face the back of the couch. Eventually I got up later that evening to have dinner with Quinn and Brittany. Quinn cooked some amazing pasta and she stayed over that night. We all decided to sleep in the living room and Brittany and I took the couch and Quinn took the other loveseat. I curled up into my incredible girlfriend and remembered one of the few quotes I had ever bothered to know.

'_We can't all do great things for this world but we can do small things with great love.'_

And that is what I was going to do for Brittany.

_**Wanna see Brittany stand up for herself? Wanna see Brittanas future? Review and all shall be revealed... Yay**_


	12. Chapter 12

**_Sorry it took so long... and this is a bridge chapter, so from here on to bigger and better things! To all who have you reviewed. LOVE_**

I took a couple more days off with Brittany, who minded my every move. If I was honest it was irritating me at this stage, I preferred to take care of Brittany instead; I needed time alone to get back to the normal Santana. Brittany was tired and I was ok, but she just wouldn't believe me.

"Britt, go and stay with Q tonight; I'll be fine." I pleaded.

"Santana I can't, you'll... you'll." Her bottom lip began to quiver and she flung herself at me wrapping me up in a hug.

I pulled away from her abruptly. "Brittany! That won't ever happen again, I already promised you twice before... you're staying at Quinn's tonight because you need rest and that's final."

"But... but"

"No, you're going to Quinn's to get some sleep and I'll be alright here. Please?" I searched her eyes with my own.

"You promise?"

"Yes baby, I promise." I said with complete sincerity.

She nodded looking defeated. I grabbed her back in to a hug and kissed her lightly on the cheek. I whispered a silent thank you to her and to god. I texted Quinn and she came over as soon as she got it. She knocked on the door with utmost urgency. I opened the door and Quinn nearly fell in.

"San, you said I should come over, what happened?" She exclaimed with worry.

"Whoa Quinn it wasn't like that." I said trying to calm her down as I closed the door.

"Oh fuck S, you freaked me out." She sighed and hugged me close.

"Listen Q, I need a favour."

"Anything Santana?" she said as she placed a hand on my shoulder.

"Can B stay at yours tonight, it's just she's so worn out, she needs some rest and some company that isn't me."

"What about you?"

"I'll be fine like I told Britt, it was a onetime thing, and it's never going to happen again. I just need a night alone to get back to myself."

Quinn nodded; she always seemed to understand where I was coming from. I smiled at her and linked her arm in mine and led her into the living room. Brittany beamed at Quinn and got up and hugged her. I sat down once more and snuggled into Brittany's side and she slid her arm around me.

"So B, your coming to mine tonight right?" Brittany nodded and I looked up in time to see the concern etched on her face.

I rubbed aimless shapes onto her taught stomach trying to distract her from her worrying thoughts. Her stare became distance and thus she was distracted.

"Hows school been going Q?" I asked to bring Brittany back to reality.

"Well, its weird not having you guys there and half the school seriously thought you were indestructible so they totally don't believe that you have the flu." I laughed at the last part.

"I missed that laugh." Quinn mused as Brittany nodded in agreement.

"I'm sorry and I don't know how many more times I can say it!" I was getting frustrated at this point.

I got up and brushed Brittany's hands of me, and headed towards the kitchen. I could hear that there were muffled words as I left the room abruptly. I got to the fridge and searched through the contents. While I rummaged I felt two hands snake around my hips.

"What Brittany?" I called as I pretended to look for something.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No." I cut the conversation short.

I turned to face her and gave her a peck on the lips, satisfying her need for an explanation. She grabbed my hand and dragged me out to the hall. Quinn stood at the door and waited for Brittany.

"S we're gonna head off to my house to give you some time, is that ok?"

I nodded and hugged Quinn. "Thank you." I whispered into her ear.

She opened the front door and muttered something to Brittany about how she would wait in the car. She gave me a final wave and left the door ajar. I pulled Brittany in close and kissed her with all the passion I could muster.

I spoke when we broke apart. "Please have fun and rest at Quinn's house tonight, promise me."

"Promise." She stated with a breath taking smile. With that she gave me one final peck and left.

I stood in the door frame and watched the car drive away. Once it was gone fully I retreated inside. I lay down on the couch and decided to relax while I had a couple of hours for Santana time. My phone buzzed on the coffee table, I could only guess who it was.

'_San, Quinn told me to say that we're down the phone if you need anything. And I forgot to say I love you. I love you. Quinn says hey.'_

'_I love you too Britt, thanks. You just go have fun.'_

I then dropped my phone back onto the coffee table and plopped myself back down onto the couch. I thought about what Quinn and Brittany would get up to on their little sleepover. Maybe they would have ice cream and paint each other's toenails, nah. They wouldn't drink because neither of them could hold their liquor that well. Maybe Quinn was going to teach Brittany how to stand up for herself; I'll believe it when I see it I think. I shouldn't have caused all this; it was the stupidest move ever.

I was tired of thinking so I rose and went upstairs. I passed by the full length mirror that hung from the wall and stared deeply into it. Where had I gone? I wasn't HBIC Santana Lopez, I was pathetic Santana Lopez. Get your head back in the game, you're the best, you're hot, Brittany loves you. Brittany loves you; that struck a chord. Brittany needs you, the old you. You're always there for her, you can be there for her again but only if you go back to the Santana Motherfucking Lopez that we all know and hate. With that I held my head up high, put my shoulders back and scowled harshly. With my hands on my hips and my eyebrow arched, I knew I was back.

Later on I cooked some dinner for myself and curled up on the couch watching a movie. My phone vibrated yet again on the table and I grabbed it.

'_Hi Sanny, I just wanted to say night night cuz me and Quinn are going to bed. I miss my teddy bear not being here, your so snugly! I wonder do ducks like to snuggle. Remember the time I tried to hug that duck in the park and then it tried to eat my nose? That wasn't fun. I love the colour yellow. I love you. Bye. I'll see you tomorrow.'_

'_B we have got to stop you rambling. I love you too, go get some sleep.'_

I just laughed at Brittany's text; Quinn should really pay more attention to what she writes like I do. God I loved Brittany and it felt good to be back. There's a whole new Brittana in town. Don't question it... Brittany made it up.

**_Next chapter... School, good or bad... you decide?_**


	13. Chapter 13

**_Ok so their back at school! :D enjoy_**

I put my best bitch face for yet another day of slander and name calling. Brittany wriggled into her uniform and I into mine. I wasn't going to act like it wasn't tough, because it was; but I realised Brittany was so fucking worth it. Her blonde hair, her blue eyes and her loving soul; it was all worth it. I packed Brittany some lunch and we were on our way for our first day back.

I decided that we'd show up late to up our coolness and we walked through the silent halls, it was an unwanted eeriness. My eyes darted from one door to another making sure no one was planning a surprise on us. I felt a tight squeeze on my hand and looked up to see Brittany staring at me as we made our way through the once treacherous halls. We got to our lockers and it all started to feel normal again. The bell then rung and the first classes were let out. I started to get nervous and my heart beat quickened, I felt on edge and seriously didn't like it. Pull it together Lopez, no big deal... just protect Brittany because you love her and get through the day. I could feel Brittany's worried eyes on me, and I turned to meet them with a confident smirk. She smiled back and I knew with that one gesture everything would be ok.

I walked to my first class with Brittany in hand and we headed down the back; heads turned and comments were shared but I didn't care. I pulled out Brittany's chair and she sat down with a blush. I looked from her to the rest of the room with a glare to all who dared to meet my eye line, heads turned quickly to avoid it. I sat myself down and slouched nonchalantly. I spent the rest of the class explaining to Brittany that in fact the square root of four was two, not rainbows. I mean some people would have killed her by now, but she made up for her lacking math skill in other areas. I mean I love the fact that she counts on me to stop her from just drawing sombreros on her Spanish papers. She's the most loving person I know, and I got around, before Brittany of course. Nobody could ever understand her words but, actions speak louder than words right?

"Santana, is everybody staring at us." She said blankly.

"Nah B, I think they'll leave us alone now, because if they don't I'm on the case." I swaggered.

"But last time-"

"Look let's pretend like it never happened, it's only made me stronger baby." I cut her off.

"You act all strong and then you lie to me San." She said as the light in her eyes faded.

"I promise, no more lies... just you and me." I mustered all the passion I could while sitting in the back of our math class.

"Ok, I love you Sanny."

"I love you too sweetie" I whispered as the teacher's eyes narrowed down on us.

The bell echoed through the halls and our first class had ended. Brittany grabbed my hand and bounced out of the classroom. She was on one of her rants about what we could get up to for lunch when I saw them. They were coming this way... Fuck, fuck and fuck.

Brittany stopped, and turned to me and pressed a kiss to my lips. My ears pricked up as I heard them jeer us. I went to move, but Brittany held me back.

"Wait here." She said and walked towards them before I could do anything.

I'll give her chance, but if they touch her... I will fuck shit up. I watched her skip over to them innocently only to meet their venom filled insults. She simply stood with her back facing me and her arm crossed. She stood there for a couple of minutes as the jocks pointed, laughed and high fived repeatedly; my blood was boiling. Then one of them made their move, he walked towards her and a split second later he was on the floor in agony. Brittany had used the palm of her hand to smash the guy right in the nose, the result... definite breakage. He hollered at her and she apologised quietly. Then Karofsky did something strange, he backed away.

"You crazy bitch... I'm tired of both of you." with that he rounded on his heels and slinked away.

I was in shock. Why the... how the hell...

Brittany turned back to me and her usually bright face had dimmed. I rushed towards her and pulled her into a tight embrace. I rubbed comforting circles on her back and she sobbed slightly. Crowds had watched the event and were confused by the ordeal, had Brittany won?

"Britt... you're amazing, where the fuck did you learn to do that?" I only sort of swooned, I swear.

"Quinn taught me, cause I wanted to try and help." Her whimpers had now subsided.

"Jeez B, don't scare me like that again ok?"

"San, I don't like fighting... it makes me feel icky." She said as she scrunched her face up with unmatchable adorableness.

"Yea tell me about it, but no more fighting for you. I really love you for standing up for me today, but it's just not you Brittany."

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be, you did such a good job baby. I don't think they'll be bothering us for very much longer not that you can kick their asses." I soothed her.

"But I hit the guy in the face not the ass..." she deadpanned.

I simply laughed at the new addition to her unending knowledge. "We've got Glee, you wanna go?"

She nodded and we strode off hand in hand. We got to the choir room and took our seats up the back Quinn made her way in with a silent smile.

"How are you days going?" She asked carefully.

I got up from my seat and swung my arms around her neck and whispered into her ear. "Thank you so frigging much, you're the best."

"Anytime S, anytime."

Brittany huffed from the lack of my attention. I winked at Quinn and walked back to my favourite blonde in the world. I straddled her hips and pressed deep kissed on her soft lips. Quinn then cleared her throat and I turned to shout but saw the rest of Glee club standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Well come in... We all know Berry lives here anyway." I got a good few giggled and a diva storm in from Rachel, I was totally back. I kinda loved Glee.

"Santana Lopez, I can assure that this choir room is not my residence for I preside at my own home with my two fathers if that knowledge eludes you. Also, this is not a teenage make out point, so please... self control is much appreciated." She said with her trademark over dramatic harshness.

"Self control was never really my thing RuPaul. And when Brittany involved, it's not really an option." I quipped with a smirk towards the blonde.

I left the diva speechless, and she threw herself theatrically into her usual chair up the front. Puck just leered at the two of us; I gave him a scowl and pushed myself off Brittany into my own chair keeping one of her hands in my own.

From that day on Karofsky stayed away and Brittany and I were perfect... ok so not perfect, but we sure made a good go of it.

Then there was graduation...

**_Graduations up next... and after that... the future? Yay or Nay? Review Please! and thanks to all who have :D_**


	14. Chapter 14

**_Extra Long Chapter Because Of All The Reviews, Feeling A Bit Generous Seen As Christmas Is So Near. :) Enjoy_**

We put on the stupid gowns and the ridiculous hats and Brittany laughed as we stood looking at ourselves in the same mirror. I hugged her tightly.

"We made it Britt."

"Yea, I guess we did." She smiled brightly and drew me in closer.

One more day at William McKinley High School and then it was finished. No more daunting school halls, no more Cheerio's and no more worries. I literally pulled my grades out of the ground for mine and Brittany's futures sakes and got a scholarship to NYU for Law. I didn't think Law would suit me but Brittany of course said it was perfect, she was biased. I checked the clock and we had about forty minutes until go time. I wasn't nervous, Santana Lopez didn't get nervous.

I drove Brittany to school for the last time. We pulled up in the car park for the last time. We walked through the halls for the last time. We made out in the janitors closet for the last time. We sat together in Coach Sylvester's office for the last time. We sang in the choir room for the last time. We hid under the bleachers for the last time. I guess I was gonna miss this place. Then I realised it, Brittany was the only thing that made this school bearable. She was literally the one thing that kept me going; I'm going to remind her how amazing she is every day. We get to go out into the world now and actually have a future; I can't wait.

We headed back towards the crowds that had gathered on the football field. All the parents and teachers were there including my own parents, who had actually decided to show up for once.

"Mija." My mother called. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

I looked to Brittany who gave me a reassuring smile and pushed me on my way.

"Santana, I was talking to Brittany's parents and-" I decided just to cut in there.

"Look I'm really blessed to have found her so I don't even-"

"Estoy feliz por ti, mi amor." She said it so fast I almost didn't catch it, almost.

"What?"

"I'm happy for you. Your Papi will take time but right now, if you're happy so am I."

I hugged her. Not just some stupid hug, like a meaningful one and I held her close for the better part of five minutes. I hadn't seen the women for almost a month now, but I wanted her back in my life. I needed to thank Brittany's mom big time. Brittany then came wandering over and I slid my arm around her waist. My mom leaned over and whispered in Brittany's ear she then kissed her on the forehead and returned to my father.

"What did she say to you?" I looked to Brittany.

"That if you ever break my heart, she'll kill you." Brittany giggled.

"What the fuck." I laughed along with her.

We walked over and took our seats in the front row. Principal Figgins made a little speech and acted like he cared and then read the scholarships out. Rachel got one to both Juilliard and NYU, Quinn got one to NYU and Harvard. Yes, Quinn Fabray got a Harvard scholarship, how? I really don't know. Mike also got one to Juilliard thanks to dance and Brittany was seriously jealous. I promised her if she wanted to go to Juilliard I would get her into Juilliard to this she smiled and kissed me full on the mouth. Because my Britts gets what she wants. I blushed a little and tried my hardest to concentrate on the speech. Principal Figgins finished up and handed it over to the valedictorian, Rachel Manhands RuPaul Treasure Trail Berry, this was going to be painful.

You know if I'm honest it wasn't all that painful, until of course, it was. She stood confidently talking nonstop and I looked to Brittany every five minutes to make sure she was still awake. Her eyes were glazed and I could tell she had completely forgotten where she was. I put my hand on her thigh and she came back to reality.

"San?"

"Britt, you gotta try and listen ok?"

She nodded and looked back to Rachel who was still going about her one true dream; something about being the younger, more famous and more efficient Barbra Streisand. She wishes.

"I would like to finish this valedictorian speech with thanks to my fellow classmates. I would like to thank Finn Hudson, for being a solid leader on and off the football field. Then to Mercedes Jones for showing me the true meaning of soul, and to Kurt Hummel for unmatchable bravery in the face of adversity and for his esteemed fashion knowledge. Thank you to Tina Cohen-Chang for helping the New Directions achieve what they have and to Noah Puckerman for showing us at Glee the many different sides of Puck. And then to you Artie Abrams who gave us a new perspective to look at and to Quinn Fabray who rarely faltered and was nothing but impressive through her trials and tribulations here at McKinley High.

Well thank god no mention I mean seriously, like I want to be mentioned in Berry's sappy speech.

"And how could I forget the two that are never mentioned without each other. Santana Lopez and Brittany Pierce, the two that have truly come through some tough times and I'm sure the future will bring nothing but success and prosperity. Thank you two for being yourselves, and good luck with you budding relationship."

I am going to kill her. I took a quick survey around of the parent's faces and yes everyone one of them was as shocked as the last. I looked to Brittany whose face had scrunched in confusion. Apparently Manhands hadn't got the memo on the fact that only the students at McKinley High knew about us. Fuck sake. I put my arm around Brittany and the tension in her shoulders relaxed. I heard some mutters and sneers from the crowd but I literally didn't care, they didn't understand.

Rachel wrapped her speech up quickly after that and Principal Figgins retook the stage to hand out the diplomas. Brittany went before me and I felt her hand slip out of mine as her name was called.

"Brittany Pierce."

She got a thunderous applause because about three quarters of the audience really didn't think Brittany would get out of high school. I helped her a lot but then again she tried a hell of a lot harder this year. I watched her as she was handed her little scroll. I didn't know I was crying until the tear slid off my cheek. I was so proud of my little dancer. I wiped my cheek quickly as I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You ok S?" Quinn smiled.

"Yea I got this, well done on Harvard Q." I praised her.

"Thanks San, but I was thinking of going to NYU instead."

"What Q you can't-"

"Santana Lopez." I heard bellowed across the microphone.

"We'll talk later, go get that diploma." She spun me and I walked out onto the stage.

I walked towards Principal Figgins, Mr Schuester and Coach Sylvester

Figgins just shook my hand and nodded as he handed over the diploma.

"Hey Santana, make sure whatever you do, you use that voice of yours." Mr Schuester chirped as her shook my hand.

Coach Sylvester put a hand on my shoulder and spoke. "You know S, you may have been hiding the largest melons I have ever bore witness to under your shirt but you did remind me of a young Sue Sylvester. And yes Santana if you think this is hard, it is hard."

I smiled and moved off the stage to Brittany who awaited me. She kissed me and the tears fell freely.

"Its ok San, I'm here." I smiled into the kiss.

When we had finished our little moment I looked over to the gathering at the rows of seats, we walked towards Brittany's parents who were talking to my own. The conversation seemed to be calm instead of the usual enraged shouting match.

"Mijas." My mother wrapped an arm around both of us.

"Hello darlings." Regina said who hugged us after my mother was finished.

"We're so proud of you." She continued on.

Brittany put an arm around my waist and played with the fabric on my hip. Her eyes surveyed me and I nudged her slightly giving her an 'my eyes are up here' look. She smiled and we got back to the conversation.

"We'll let you go and have fun with your friends, we have a lot to talk about." My mami said as she looked towards Regina who simply nodded.

I could see my father talking to Brittany's but I didn't dare go over to him.

"Enjoy the night girls." I heard Regina say as we started off.

We walked over to the Glee crew and they were all ranting about scholarships. I saw Rachel and saw red at the same time. Brittany could sense this and she stepped in front of me and spun round to look me in the eye. She cupped my cheek and smiled.

"She didn't know it's not her fault."

"What?"

"San, I know you." And that's all she said.

When in the hell did Brittany get all deep? I mean it was cool but maybe she could give me a heads up the next time she wants to go all metaphorical on me.

"I just want to talk to her." I shrugged her off gently.

I made my way over and grabbed Rachel by the shoulder. She was slightly stunned and was easier to move. I pulled her out of the group and we sat down in two free chairs.

"What the hell was that? Decided to out us to the whole town Berry?" I snapped.

"I'm sorry Santana; I really thought you and Brittany had announced your current relationship status to our constituents."

"Well sorry that we don't feel the need to announce everything we do to this town just because we're gay. You better count yourself lucky that Brittany doesn't get pissed over stuff like this, because even though we've graduated, I'm not below kicking your ass."

"Again, I'm sorry Santana, I wasn't thinking." She said apologetically.

"No you weren't but seen as your going be famous in a couple of years and I'm gonna want tickets to the best Broadway shows for me and Britt, it's cool."

"Was that a complement?"

"No... I don't care, just apologise to Brittany and we'll leave it at that."

I'm losing it... I literally admitted that I thought Berry would be famous. Ugh I want to just punch myself in the face.

"I will do immediately and I will have those tickets for you Santana, don't worry about it." She winked. Ugh. "So you like Broadway?"

Yes that was Rachel Berry's attempt at small talk as we made our way back to the group.

"Of course I don't!" Yes I so did. "Brittany just likes all the singing and shit.

She nodded and sidled back into the group. I made my way behind Brittany and looped my hands behind her waist. I rested my head on her shoulder and took in the conversation.

"Party at Puck's tonight." Artie piped up.

"Yea that's cool with me." Puck added.

* * *

Brittany had gotten ready and my place and we headed over to Puck's fashionably late. Apparently it wasn't just the Glee kids that heard about the party, it was packed. We shuffled through the front door and through the masses of people. I greeted Puck with a hug and Brittany did the same. I grabbed us some drinks and we danced for a good half an hour. I was totally turned on at this stage and Brittany was as well; her dancing always sparked something in me. She grabbed my hand quickly and led me out to the quieter hall.

"Wanna go upstairs? She smirked devilishly.

"Ehm Yes!"

We raced upstairs to the nearest bedroom; it had a double bed so I was happy out. Brittany had already got half her clothes off in the first fifteen seconds of being in the room. She pulled at my dress and clasped her lips to mine. We fell onto the bed in a fumbled mess, and I wriggled out of my dress. Her hands roamed as usual and soon we were both completely naked. I lay back on the bed letting Brittany kiss every part of my body possible, it felt amazing.

She felt her way down between my thighs and glanced at me for moment. She then smirked and dove straight for my core. She nipped at my clit with her teeth and her tongue worked wonders in my slick folds.

"Oh... Brittany." I moaned as she continued.

Her fingers then joined in on the act, those miraculous fingers. They plunged into me and thrust themselves deeper with every try. The music was loud so I could scream, and scream I did. I moaned very vocally to what Brittany was doing to me. My hips buck rhythmically with her fingers and within an hour of being in Puck's house I came calling Brittany's name repeatedly.

She lay beside me, just staring lovingly into my eyes. She caresses my hair and whispered.

"You taste like maple syrup; can I have you on my pancakes?"

"Sure Britt, sure." I managed as I came down off my high.

I returned the favour and I can honestly say Brittany tasted like nothing I had ever experienced before. So sweet and such a delicate flavour, I totally want Brittany flavoured everything.

Moving out next... New York here we come. No pun intended.

**_Alrighty, next stop the Big Apple... Do you guys want Faberry to enter, but not too much, I love Brittana far too much for that. So Faberry? Or No Faberry? I Really want to get this fic over 100 reviews! Please help :D to all who have reviewed - LOVE_**

**_Stick with this story we're close to the end now!_**


	15. Chapter 15

**_short little chapter in NYC baby :) so for the rather long break :(_**

It only took us four cars and seven hours to move in. Brittany insisted on bringing every possible item that we ever owned to New York, literally. She was on the verge of tears when I had to break it to her that it wasn't actually possible for us to take her room seen as... it was attached to her house.

We made it to our new apartment in good time and our parents and some of the Glee kids helped us to move the boxes. The apartment was a one bed because it was all we could afford. In all honesty it was a piece of crap but I promised Brittany we'd move ASAP as soon as we had some cash. We had a cool view of the skyline, a kitchen, a bathroom, a living room and a bedroom and that was good enough for me. We only needed the basics to start off with.

I had convinced Quinn to go to Harvard and after a couple of hours she came around. She just didn't like the idea of having no one close by, but I assured her that the Quinn Fabray I knew wouldn't give a fuck. Berry headed off to Juilliard and yea I don't care... Brittany tried to get experience in some of the local dance studios and with some Lopez persuasion they agreed. I was going to NYU studying Law, and I'm not gonna lie, I was excited.

Everyone left that evening to head back to Lima or wherever else and we said our goodbyes.

"I'm going to miss you two not having my back." Quinn said tearfully.

"Q, we'll always have your back but you gotta chill. We'll see you at like every holiday and everything in between." I said calmly as Brittany snuggled into my side on our new couch.

"Easy for you to say, you'll always have B around." She frowned.

"I'm one lucky, lucky girl." I murmured as I cast a glance over Brittany.

"San, you're so cute. You're like a limited edition gay Barbie; my gay Barbie." She beamed up at me.

I brought my head down towards her and out lips met in a quick peck followed by a clearing of the throat from Quinn.

"Yes?" I questioned.

"You two are ridiculous."

"Yea we are ridiculously hot."

"That's so not what I said and you know it Lopez, I think I'm gonna go before you start doing it like bunnies on speed."

"Awh no Quinn don't go." Brittany pouted.

Quinn got up and smiled at her before grabbing her coat and putting it on. Brittany was first up and wrapped Quinn in a tight hug. I could hear both of the blondes sniffling already. They kissed each other on the cheek and Brittany stepped back. I walked up and put my arms around Quinn's neck, I could feel her breath hitching because of the tears. I let go after what seemed to be the shortest moment in history. I gently wiped the rogue tear from her cheek and smirked.

"Seriously Fabray?"

"Oh shut up Lopez." She choked out.

We walked her to the door and said our final goodbyes. I wasn't really feeling the emotional stuff because we'd see her in at least two weeks. Brittany was still crying after we had closed the door and were sitting back on the couch. I slid my arm around her waist and looked to her.

"You are crying, while we're in our brand new apartment, in New fucking York?" I laughed.

She giggled. "Yea I know."

"What's say we break our new place in?" I said with a suggestively arched eyebrow.

"Umm?" Brittany mumbled with obvious confusion.

"Sex?" I kept my eyebrow arched.

"Oh... well yes... that would be nice." She grinned.

I hoisted her up and she wrapped her legs around my waist. I walked her to our new bedroom and laid her down on the bed. We had no sheets but that so wasn't stopping us.

Alls I'm gonna say is that Quinn wasn't wrong when she compared us to bunnies on speed.

We got up the following morning a little worse for wear but we decided to get to know our surroundings. We got dressed in the clothes that were at the top of one of the boxes and headed off. We strolled down a couple of the streets and checked a couple of the stores. I had Brittany's hand in mine and I didn't have to worry about who saw us; it was great.

Brittany was totally in awe of the place, I could tell because I swear for a couple of minutes she forgot to breath. I lead her into a little coffee shop and we sat down as we warmed up from the cold outside. I bought two hot chocolates and laid them down on the table.

"So what do you think so far?" I asked before I took a long sip from my mug.

"I love it! It so big and loud. Lima is like nothing compared to this." It was her childlike reactions like that that I loved.

"Totally."

"San?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm so happy right now."

"Okay?" I laughed.

"I mean this is perfect, you know?"

"Yea Britt, I get you and I couldn't agree more."

We polished off our hot chocolates and braced ourselves for more of the harsh New York cold. We stepped outside and laced our fingers together and strolled further down the block. We came across some cute boutiques and a local park. We entered and I hoped we could find a quiet little bench where we could just sit and cuddle, but no, it's always Brittany with those ulterior motives of hers.

"DUCKS!"

"Yeah baby, I see them." I sighed heavily although Brittany didn't notice my lack of interest.

"They're so cute; we should bring some duck food next time." She said thoughtfully.

"Bread?"

"Sure. Umm San?"

"Yes Britt?"

She snuggled closer to me as we stood at the edge of the new found pond. Her head tucked itself in the crook of my chin and she gently kissed my neck and jaw line.

"Can I have one?" She asked sweetly.

"No B." I said firmly.

"But San their so-"

"No Brittany."

"Pretty please."

"We're not even properly moved in yet babe."

"But I really want one..." She pouted, Dammit.

"Uh well..." Bingo, I got an idea. "Ok Brittany, you can all of them."

"Really S?" She beamed with a new brightness in her eyes, excitement brimming within her.

"Yup, but we gotta leave them here because we don't have a pond in our apartment, and we wouldn't want sad ducks, would we?"

"No way, I don't like sad duckies." She said contemplatively.

"Nobody does sweetie, so we'll leave them here and feed them when we come back some other day."

"Ok San, I think I'll name that one Herman." She smiled as she pointed out one of the flock.

"Whatever you say." I smiled at her grinning lips before kissing them. "Let's go home and finish unpacking."

And with some goodbyes to the ducks from Brittany and one forced goodbye from me we headed home. I had just convinced a girl that she owned all the ducks in the park, I'm a genius. NYU's got nothing on Santana Lopez. I can literally bullshit my way out of any situation.

And before you ask, yes, Brittany rewarded me for getting her the ducks. Score.

**_review, alert, favourite, eat cookies i dont mind :) next up, some christmas loving and make sure you read over whats gone on before because i intend on using that in the next chapter :)_**


	16. Chapter 16

**_Ok so I decided to go all out fluff with a little bit of 'dragging up the past' angst. Lemme know how you feel :) ENJOY_**

Santana Lopez plus marriage equals never. That was the math that always worked out in everyone's head, but then came along this new theory: Santana Lopez plus Brittany Pierce equals marriage and that just made far more sense.

Oh crap... That was the only thought I had as I prepared everything perfectly. What if everything decides to fuck up, what if Brittany says no? Ok so I had quite a few thoughts.

"Will you stop freaking out?" Quinn laughed and threw a pillow into my face.

"Just... what if-"

"Don't go there. You don't even have to do all this." She motioned around the apartment. "You could just straight out ask her with no ring and she'd say yes."

"I know, I know." I sighed running a hand through my hair.

"You better get going to pick her up. I'll finish everything here." She said looking up at the clock.

"Shit yea, thanks a million Q; as usual you totally saved my ass on this one."

I grabbed my bag and the picnic basket I had arranged and ran to the door. I then ran back and kissed Quinn on the cheek, thanking her profusely for all her help. I then jogged to the car and put all of my stuff in the trunk.

* * *

I pulled up to the dance studio Brittany was working in at the time. It had been four years since we first got to New York and she had just gained in experience and renown and was working at all the studios there, trying to figure out which one she liked the most. We had also moved apartment to a significantly bigger one looking down on Central Park because the whole lawyer thing had worked out peachy for me.

I saw Brittany standing on the sidewalk staring at her phone. I sat still for a second, watching her intently, she was perfect. I got out of the car and walked up to her, putting my hands on her waist.

"Baby?"

"Oh, hey San. I forgot how to call you." she deadpanned still looking at her phone.

"Don't worry about it, look I planned something for us today." I smiled at her.

"Sounds good." She beamed finally looking away from her phone.

I kissed her lips and walked her to the car, opening the door for her to get in. I drove to Central Park and just told Brittany I thought we'd have a picnic and feed the ducks.

"You're so cute Sanny."

"I try, I try." I smirked back at her as I set up our little blanket near the pond.

Brittany stood feeding the ducks as I laid out some food. I looked at her and everything just seemed to flood back as to why I was doing all this. She was the girl of my dreams, and she'd always been there. I just wanted that to continue forever.

"Hey Britt, you gonna come eat?" I called.

She turned and smiled broadly at me. "You shouldn't have done all this."

"It's nothing you don't deserve."

We began to eat and just enjoyed each other's company as we always did. She grinned throughout our whole time at the park. That was another thing I loved about her, she smiled at everything. Bad, good or indifferent she would try her best to smile.

When we finished up, I packed up all our stuff and we headed back to the apartment. I unlocked the door slowly; I wanted to play this just right. I let her walk in first and I dropped the basket at the door.

"San? What's all this?" She whispered with shock written all over her face.

Perfect.

"Just a little something." I replied smugly.

There were yellow rose petals scattered on the floor, it probably should have been red but Brittany prefers yellow. There were candles lit in ever little crevice and so it set a beautiful ambiance about the place. I had champagne chilling on ice on the coffee table along with an assortment of treats that Quinn had brought.

"Alright, you sit on the couch and grab a drink. I just need to get something."

This is something I hadn't run by Quinn but I guess I just had to say it to Brittany. I grabbed the piece of paper out of my dresser drawer and opened it. I looked over, still the same letter I had written over five years ago if not a little aged. I took one deep breath and grabbed the box next to it also in the drawer putting it in my pocket. I then took one last look in the mirror and returned to the living room.

Brittany flashed a smile at me and sipped from her glass. I sat Indian style across from her and unfolded the letter again.

"Ok B, you remember back in high school?" She nodded.

"You remember that really bad night?" She nodded again sadly.

"How can I forget San?"

"I know, well, that night I wrote you something. I only wanna read the bits that apply to right now but I want you to hear it because I still feel the same, ok?" Shit I was nervous.

"Of course." She put down the glass and mirrored my sitting position taking my hand. "I'm here."

"I know, ready?" She nodded once more.

I cleared my throat and began.

_Dear Brittany,_

_I guess I'll just start by saying how much I love you; it seems to be the easiest thing_

_to say. You're my entire world, the sun, the moon, the stars and whatever else there is._

_You made me see the fun in life for the first time, you made me laugh and smile when no_

_one else even cared to know me. You showed me what it meant to truly live, to love and _

_be loved. You made everything I did worthwhile..._

"Gonna skip over this bit." She smiled at me reassuringly.

_When I wake up in the morning, I think of you and when I go to sleep at night I think_

_of you. B, there was never anyone else who could make me feel like you did and always _

_know that. No one compares to you Brittany, no one. There are so many things about _

_you that make you incredible and I'm so glad that you let me be your friend so I could see all_

_the amazing qualities you have..._

"Yea we're passing over this bit too." I muttered as I worked my way down the page.

_It took me some time to realise how truly lucky I was to have met you when we were _

_eight at that stupid cheer camp. You were the best there, hands down. I remember_

_seeing you for the first time, you were dancing and you were the prettiest girl in the _

_world even then. Right from the get go I loved you, hell I still do..._

"God I was wreck." I laughed shakily and she squeezed my hand comfortingly.

_Brittany you were the only one who ever got me, the only one who was willing to_

_put up with me. I know I was crazy most of the time and a royal bitch, but I swear_

_that wasn't the real me. You knew the real me, you were probably the only who did._

_The person I was around you was reserved for you because you deserved to have_

_the real me all to yourself. That's not true, you deserve more than that. You ought_

_to have everything Brittany, everything._

_I'll finish here B, on a good note._

_Whatever you do be happy._

_I love you,_

_I'm forever yours._

_Santana_

I looked up to see tears running off of Brittany's cheeks. I swiped them off her face and smiled into her deep blue eyes. My hand cupped itself around her cheek and my thumb stroked it calmingly. It was only then I realised I was crying too, but I let the tears fall. They needed to fall, I had kept this letter hidden for a long time and rereading it brought back a time that was tough remembering.

"I do have everything, I have you." She choked out.

"Well Britt." I stood up only to kneel back down on my left knee. "I wanna have you forever. So Brittany Susan Pierce, will you marry me?" I said as I pulled the little box from my pocket and opened it.

"Oh Santana! Yes, Yes, Yes!" She screeched as I placed the ring on her finger.

I gathered her up in a hug and carried her to the bedroom and locked the door.

* * *

As we lay in the afterglow of our mind blowing and earth shattering sex, Brittany turned to me.

"Did you mean all that stuff?"

"Of course sweetheart."

"I should write you a letter."

"Yea you can write vows, you'll that we read at our wedding."

"I still want to write you a letter S; I want to tell you everything, like you told me."

"Just don't tell Quinn or anybody else for that matter."

"But I was going to ask Rachel how to use all those big words she does." She pouted.

"No way, and I don't want all those words. I just want you, and what you have to say."

"Maybe I'll call Mr Kitty-Cat back home and ask him? I mean after the whole diary thing, he knows a lot about me."

"Baby... you can do whatever the hell you want."

She toyed with her ring and smiled fondly. I kissed her forehead and pulled her closer. This was my life perfected.

**_Where do you want this to go? All out Brittana life? Or complete it here?_**


End file.
